I'm still here...living and breathing in moromonville, I am. No kidding! Enjoying the holidays a little too much (check past posts...I was worried this would happen). Never fear! I didn't put all the weight back on, I'm guessing about five pounds. I start my new plan on Monday. Christmas is over and there's nothing left but to get smaller and smaller. I'll be able to put the treadmill back in the living room (It's been facing a while near my daughter's play room for the past couple of weeks, due to the space problems the Christmas tree has presented). On other fronts, my new year's resolution is to take better care of myself. I already work out and eat pretty good. This "better care" goes beyond the working out...it has to do with how I dress, wear my hair, my skin, all the outside stuff I usually neglect. I'm going to do it for the big 30 (which is exactly one month from today!).

Hope everyone is having a joyous holiday season. I'll be on vacation until the start of the new year, so I may or may not come in to post. I'll be much more regular (he, he) after the vacation. I have new help who actually comes to work and, get this, works! I'm so happy about that. It will make for a lot more posting, now that I'm not overly stressed about getting everything done. "C" as I'll call her from here on, is terrific. I'm hoping for the best.

Till next year! :-)

Yes. I'm proud to say that I voted bright and early, yesterday. Unfortunately, I don't think it did much good. I'm in a staunch, Republican state and there's rarely an opportunity to overcome it. Not to say that I'm a straight party-voter, but I do want what's best for our country. A nice balance is always good, but we've got a definite, controlling power on our hands again. I really feel divided on all of this. Would Kerry have been a good President? Will Bush really tackle the issues and stop being a moron? I don't know. It's all very disheartening. I just wish our troops would come home. Then, we should take care of domestic issues before trying to take on everyone else's. I'm not very political at all, but that's how I feel.

There is water weight with me. Oh, yuck. Also, I padded myself a bit during the Halloween festivities of last week. We had a lot of fried goodies (catfish and hushpuppies), and an assortment of chocolate goodies. Thankfully, I haven't gone overboard. The problem is, I keep getting invited to lunch and I'm not turning anyone down. I need too because I'm missing workout days galore. This week, one of my engagements cancelled, so I will be able to get in my normal amount, if not more of my workouts. I also plan on getting in my good one on Saturday, too (now that swim lessons are over). They'll start up again in January. Oh, and I recently discovered that Wednesday's are dollar-days at the pool. During Christmas vacation, perhaps the babe and I can get in some awesome swim time for cheap.

I really need to regain my focus. I can't be hot by thirty if I'm eating Halloween candy. I'm on my way! Hubby gave me my new plan to start next week and I am so geeked about it. I know that it will get me close, if not completely to my goal. The weight training and cardio begins for the next four weeks, then the diet change. We will get our two splurge days; Thanksgiving and Christmas. Other than that, there's no more eating out and everything is being cooked at home (except for these blasted lunches I keep getting invited to).

I've also said to myself that I can't buy anymore frocks or cutsie clothes until I get off these couple of pounds that have creeped onto me over the past two weeks. I also want to document more here on the blog (which I will). No empty promises. I'll just keep saying it until I darn well buckle down and do it. The calorie count is still at 1400, but I've gone over all weekend and the end of last week. This week has gotten off to a pretty good start. I will be back in the swing by this weekend (I'm positive). If for nothing else than that I am eyeing another tunic that is so pretty (check out Newport-News' Kimono Tunic). The model is wearing it in black. Can't be a big girl in a top like that. :-)

How often do we say that? Man, it's been like that all week for me. Monday, we came in to more problems with the system (not nearly as many as last week, but still more than I would have liked to have dealt with). Tuesday, I got my days mixed up and thought our accreditation visitor was coming, so I got all dressed up and left my gym bag at home. Oh, well, he didn't come till Wednesday. Okay, so Wednesday, I'm all dressed up again, no gym bag, and he doesn't even see or talk to me. I could have showed up in sweats and it wouldn't have made a difference...okay, well maybe but, goodness!

Yesterday evening, the babe's goldfish died, so we had to have the death talk. Then, we went to Wally World for a new Beta fish. She loves it! I hope he lasts longer than "Bark" (the goldfish). This one's name is Spot. [smile]

People at Wally world are crazy and manic around this time of year. The holidays are approaching and they just come out of the woodworks and loose their minds! It's so annoying. Well, after an hour in Wally World, we stopped and got dinner, then made it home to eat. After that, I had to sew a piece of material for a friend's costume. Not sure how I got roped into that one, but I think I accomplished what she wanted. Tonight, I have to do the babe's hair and make the apple crumble for tomorrow's pot-luck. It should be fun!

Saturday, is our fish fry. So, Saturday morning it's "clean, clean, clean" until the house is spot-less. Than watch as our guests succeed in crapping it all up again. Why do we do it to ourselves? It's all about image and our egos, I think. We can't stand the thought of having someone say, "Eww! Have you ever been to the ????'s house? It smells like cat pee and looks like wolves live there." Thankfully, I don't think anyone's ever said that. [smile]

Yes! Truly. I didn't drop off the face of the earth or anything. It was a nightmare of a week, last week, and I could barely breathe much less type anything down. What a mess! We have this new system that, of course, is supposed to be the answer to everyone's prayers and is this great IT accomplishment. W-R-O-N-G. It has done nothing but screw it up from the time it was launched and, of course, there are only a select group of people being affected (I am so fortunately included in this group....can you feel the sarcasm??). Anyway, things have leveled off a bit, but there are still problems. The biggest problem is that this masterpiece of technology will be available to all of our students Monday, November 1st. I think I'll call in sick that day.

Believe it or not, all is going well on the eating and work out front. A little splurge here and there, but really well on all fronts. In fact, I feel a bit smaller (even though the scale isn't reflecting how I'm feeling or looking). I'm chalking it up to muscle mass. That's the only thing it could be, right? Fat never looked this good (okay, that was probably way too much ego for this blogger). Friday, we'll be dressing up and partying down to a good, old fashioned pot-luck. I've decided to make apple crumble, since it was such a treat the last time I made it at home. Why not share the wealth? There's a lady here's who's decided to go all out with her costume. The crazy thing is, the costume is probably a bit revealing (she's going as a green fairy). She's over 6 feet tall and lost a lot of weight fast, before taking her job here. Consequently, she's probably put some of it back on and it's all centered around her middle. I'm just worried, that's all....for her, I mean. I really hope she's wearing a dress and not a leotard or anything. That could be frightening, even to frightening for Halloween.

The babe is going as a cat. I was smart and didn't tell her I have her costume and she hasn't seen it. She's at the age where she will ask about things a thousand times and make you absolutely crazy! I've learned to keep secrets to the very last minute, where she is concerned. We have company coming over on Saturday, and she doesn't know anything about that either. They'll just show up and she'll think they're there for her. It should be interesting.

I hope to be more consistent this week. I'm praying really hard that I don't have a week like last week. The stress was so bad it manifested itself in my shoulders and neck. I needed a massage bad! Too bad the massage college is so far away. I would have been there quick and in a hurry!

This seems to be on my mind a lot lately so, I'm going to get on my soap box about this for a few minutes. What, indeed, has happened to the ethics of workers? No one seems to care about the quality of work, much less coming in on time. People complain constantly about work and how they're getting screwed in some form or fashion, but no one is stepping to the plate to take action about these troubles. Could this all be stemming from our downed economy and lack of jobs? People are whining more because they don't have what they want or need, but they are unwilling to give 100%. There are a few people here who fall into that category. It just amazes me! Maybe I'm too ethical. Can there be such a thing?

I'm having a budget gourmet and baked potato for lunch. I'll be going to the gym at the end of the day, simply because my morning has been so chaotic. I weighed in and I'm still within the three pound zone, but I'm not stressing it. Not in the least.

Today, are high is supposed to be somewhere in the mid 50's. What's interesting is how are bodies react to these temperature changes. For example, if I said that it was going to be in the mid 50's during the month of March, we would all feel that sense of relief felt when spring is on the horizon. During the month of October, it's always the beginning of the "Big Chill". In fact, they've stated that there will be at least several feet in the mountains, before the weekend arrives. Is that crazy or what? This weekend, I'll be doing my big "switch over", bringing my fall clothes up and taking my spring ones down.

I think that'll I'll have to do the unspeakable and buy more clothes, again. All of the shopping for new sizes was for spring-like clothing. All my fall gear is going to fit like tents (highly unattractive!). I'll have to send hubby out on a mission for fall-gear.

I stepped on the scale at the gym and it said somewhere in the neighborhood of 158 (that was with my undershirt, bra and panties on). I really think not consuming myself with these numbers is really making a difference. I've started on my L-Carnitine again, but I'm only working out once per day. I'm also eating more. I must have been starving myself without even realizing it. Like they say, everyone is different. Just because 1200 is just above starving for most folks, doesn't meant that this applies to me. I'll keep on trekking forward with this and, hopefully, good things will come.

The doggy seems to be doing much better. He's on an antibiotic, Imodium AD and I/D formula science diet dog food (which he gobbles up readily). He will be such a happy dog when he can finally sleep inside again and can eat his regular food.

-UPDATE 2:15 PM MST - The movie information has been updated. :-)

After two more days of runny bowels, we just can't take it anymore. We tried pedialyte, pepto, everything we could think of to quite the poor doogy's tummy, but to no avail. Today, hubby took him to the vet and his suspicions were confirmed: once it started, it stressed him out so he couldn't stop. Now, he's on Imodium AD and an antibiotic to balance his gastrointestinal bacteria.

We weren't angry with him for the mess he made. It was just really frustrating to deal with. We finally started keeping him in the garage at night, simply because concrete is much easier to clean than carpet. Why not leave the pooch outside, you ask? Well, this kind of ties in to where his troubles started in the first place. Our dog is very sensitive...emotionally. We think he might have been abused early in his life. By the time he made it to his foster mom, the damage was done; however, she worked with him and he became the kind, fun loving dog we have now. He still has residual issues that surface every now and again. Basically, his diarrhea started as a result of his nerves. Something upset him enough to make it go into overdrive. After that, it was a flood of poo. Eww, and the smell! I'm surprised I even got it out of the carpet the first time.

Hubby and I will rent an industrial strength cleaner, just as soon as he clears up and has a bath. We want to make sure any stains or leftover smell are gone for good. We really felt bad for him because we took up his food and everything to try and wait it out. Last night, I was grilling chicken breasts on my George Foreman grill. I thought he was going to go into fits! He was so hungry. We finally had to let him out to save him the grief, poor doggy. I thought, perhaps, he had giaria (sp?) but it's just a case of the nerves.

I was proud of myself this weekend. I took two days off from my workouts, but I ate well. The only splurge was an apple crumble I made. The recipe called for "greasing" the pan along with "butter". I used no-stick spray and light margarine. I could definitely tell it wasn't as rich as the crumbles I've had in the past, but boy was it a nice alternative dessert. Yum! (I even topped it with Light, Dreyers Vanilla Bean ice cream.)

I'm feeling better about the way I'm handling things, now that I'm not feeling the pressure of the weigh ins (although, I'm still keeping up for myself). I don't know what it is. I guess in some way I feel (and know) this information is on display for lots of eyes and I must make sure I keep up with appearances. Pah-lease! I'll do that when I'm in my right mind, again (or did I ever have a right mind? Who, knows).

I saw a job opportunity in my field and it pays more by the hour; however, it's only a 30hour per week job and that would mean a pay cut of nearly 10K a year. I'm thinking of the bonuses - less gas, no car payment, no daycare. The cons - less money, basically a lateral move, no ability to save for more (after the huge paycut). Is it worth investigating? I may. I just hate to feel like I'm moving backwards, even if it's for the better of my child. There's got to be a better alternative.

Yep. That's what I had to deal with, first thing in the morning. The dog decided that he was going to vomit and poo all over my bedroom. What a nightmare! So, it was me and the steam cleaner this morning for a solid hour. What fun! I new what kind of day it was going to be after that. Strangely, it's been a pretty good.

Not much to say right now. Hopefully, I'll have something interesting to say about the weekend.

I've been thinking about this today. I don't weigh everyday, by any means. Most times, I wait until Wednesday; however, I'm wondering if even that is too much. I think it's good to know about where you are as a bit of a gauge but, to actually use that as a guide on how good or bad you are or if you're successful? I don't know. Somehow, it isn't sitting right with me. Maybe it's because I'm stuck in this rut. I've been hanging out within the same three pounds for about two or three months. I know some people hit a plateau and stay there for even longer than I have, but it still doesn't make it any easier. I feel good I look tons better. Isn't that what matters? Yes it does, but I also know that it can be even better. I want to be there with all of my heart. I can practically taste it! For me, the 140's would be perfect. I know that sounds strange for someone of my height but, I'm telling you, it would look fantastic! Any smaller and I'd look sickly. It's just getting there. How can I get there?

I've increased my calorie intake (finally) to 1400. Hubby thinks that I wasn't getting nearly enough food to do the things that I am doing. I'm no marathon runner, but I'm pretty active for a chick nearly in her 30s. Lots of protein this week and I've included a few apples here and there (the red ones, even! I prefer green). I've also tried to keep up with the six small meals. I'll need to do some reading on how those should be divided out and what I should eat each time. This weekend, I'm going to start planning menus again. I really feel like I'm in control of the weekends when I have prepared food to eat, rather than eating out (I know that should help too). Send me good vibes, fellow weight losers out there. I'm really in need.

I've got to stop this. I had goal items and everything to keep my need to buy smaller clothes under control. Well, there won't be a need to buy smaller clothes if my weight keeps fluctuating. Ughh! Currently, I am the keeper of all that is water, since TOM is on the way. It still doesn't make it any easier to see on the scale. I have gotten off to a good start this week so, I can only hope that it makes a difference over the next couple of weeks (keeping in mind that I keep up my good habits).

So, where does the buying come in? I've been eyeing a Newport-News sweater since I received the catalog late this summer. They had a Columbus Day sale (as did everyone in the U.S.) and they took 15% off the price. Well, I jumped on it. I was thinking, "Winter is coming and I'll need a sweater or two, " which is true, but I believe if I'd waited a bit longer I probably would have gotten the sweater for even less and perhaps in a different size.

Ugh! I'm really beating myself up and I should really stop. It's one day at a time one week at a time. I've come quite far and I can continue the journey. I know I can. I just gotta keep with the program.

Yes. We were one of the lucky few that experiences Columbus Day as a holiday; however, I feel like I need about three more days. Man, am I tired! I'm not sure if it's the change in daylight hours, temperature or my diet but I am running on exhausted more than usual. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "I need a vacation!"

The weekend was a bust, but I did try to keep my portions under control (even though we were enjoying ourselves eating out a lot). Yesterday was the first time I cooked in several days. I made homemade chicken soup (remember, it's soups and chili this year?). It was wonderful! I even used whole wheat noodles. It must have made a difference because after I ate, I was full. Chicken soup never really makes me feel full.

I took some L-Carnitine this morning - the first dose in a long while. It's my attempt to commit to getting these last twenty pounds off. I don't know why it's been so hard, but I've got to keep my momentum. Too many holidays are coming up and it will be so much easier to maintain at the weight I want to be, rather than try to loose during all of the festivities. I don't know. I know people do it all the time (loose weight during the holidays, I mean). Perhaps I just have to suck it up and be one of those people.

I walked on the treadmill for 60 minutes yesterday morning. Boy, was I achey afterwards. I also did a Firm ab workout on Sunday morning. It didn't make me as sore as I thought I was going to be. I decided that I miss those tapes and will try to incorporate them in my routine (whatever that may be, this week).

Anyway, I'm sounding really wishy-washy, but I'm not trying to. I do have it in me to do this and I want to. I'm going to. I just keep falling off the wagon. I know. One day at a time. Today has gotten off to a pretty good start (except for the feeling tired). I'm sure I'll perk up in an hour or so.

I've been watching and rewatching a bunch of horror movies this month. This is definitely and appropriately the month I like to do this. Here's a list of what I've seen over the past several days (in order):

• The Stepford Wives
• Halloween
• Friday the 13th
• An American Werewolf in London
• Love at First Bite (not scary, but fun)
• Underworld

There are lots more I'll be checking out before this spooky month ends. I watch Rosemary's Baby every year and Carrie because they're my favorites (I know. I'm a total freak). I also have The Omen (freaks me out everytime I watch it), Amityville Horror (I read the book with some girlfriends in Junior High), Night of the Living Dead (the original), and Suspiria. I absolutely love horror movies, Halloween and this time of year in general. My mother always gives me a hard time about it. She's a old-fashioned Baptist who believes that Halloween is all about the devil. I know that Halloween is the day once known as O'Hallo's eve and it precedes the festival of the saints. I know the history, but for me, it's all about the mystery and fun. When we dress up, we never do anything gross or distasteful. We're not teaching our child to run out and worship the devil. Once upon a time, my mother was totally into it. In fact, she'd have me decided what I wanted to be months in advance so that she could either find my costume or find a pattern to make it. (I don't know why I'm going on and on about this). Let's change subjects.

I'm making more changes to my plan. I'm going to do the King, Prince and Pauper method again. I know that I'm probably eating way too much at dinner time (even though I still remain in my calories). I don't think I'm getting enough during the day, which is where the bulk of them should be. I know this, but I've somehow established this, "eat a big dinner" pattern and I've got to stop it. No amount of exercise changing in the world is going to get those mashed potatoes off my butt if I eat them before I go to bed. I've just got to do it. There's a lot that I've just got to do. This time of the year, as I've said time and time again, is so very difficult. My hubby mentioned that they've started putting the "big"meats on sale. He's like, "Oh, honey. They've got their rump roast buy one get one free". I'm like, "Uh, uh. None of that this year. That's what got me in trouble in the first place. All of those comfort foods." I can't do it, I tells yah. I just can't! It's chili and soup that will be bringing me comfort this year (except for Thanksgiving and Christmas, of course. Even then, I plan on doing a killer work out that morning just to make up for the damage). I would never have done that last year.

Okay, I'm just about finished.

I started thinking about school again. I guess hubby's been thinking along those lines too. We've just got to figure out my job situation before either one of us can go back and we both want to so badly. Keeping optimistic about the job in my town. There's gotta be one for me.

Hubby took yet another day/night off, last night. I'm not complaining but, I definitely don't want him to endanger his job, you know? It's been really nice having him home at nights and I think he's been spoiling himself to that. The babe is coming down with something and, I gotta tell you, it's nice to have the back-up when the coughing fits start. (She was looking loads better this morning).

My new help is doing okay. She's not as dedicated as I'd like and a bit flaky, but she's smart and picks things up easily. I don't know. Maybe the work ethics of this new, up coming generation are a bit different. Our new receptionist has already missed loads of work. Okay, I understand already having planned a vacation when you're hired. That's perfectly reasonable. You tell your hiring entity that you have made those plans, then they make arrangements to cover for you if they decide to hire you, right? Well, this girl has not only taken some vacation time, she's taking sick time, migraine time and wedding time and she hasn't even earned any vacation days yet! Not that they're paying her for all the time missed but, where are the ethics? Man, I wouldn't have even tried to take time off until after my ninety days were up. It's just the way you do things. It's business etiquette. The folks who hired her are now totally doubting themselves. It's a mess!

I hope this doesn't happen to me too. My person is only part-time, but I feel she needs to be here, devoted to her job for the time that she's here. Is that too much to ask for?

I had a big bowl of hubby's chili last night for dinner and two chicken tenders. It was so yummy! Today, it's our gym's three year anniversary, so they're catering lunch in from Gandolfo's (an Italian deli). It should be good and healthy too. I also stopped at Ross Dress for Less on the way home last night to find some more Lee Jeans. I'm loving the pair I bought last week and wanted to see if I could find a similar pair in blue. I succeeded. I also purchased a cute new dress for the babe (complete with matching hat). She picked it out and this morning was really trying to wear it to school. I squashed that request quickly. That's all I need is a big tear in a brand new $32 dress (okay, I didn't pay that but, you know what I mean).

Tomorrow is weigh day and I'm not sure what to expect. We had a bit of a splurge over the weekend, but not too bad. I've been keeping up with my new, more intense workouts but I'm feeling super bloated. I know if the bloat is still here tomorrow that water is going to have an effect on what I see on the scale. I did, however, receive a nice compliment from a friend I haven't seen in about two years (we correspond mostly through email and the phone). She has not been aware of my new workout regime so, it wasn't an expected compliment. She said, "Oh my gosh! You're so skinny!" Needless to say, I was more than happy to hear that.

I thought my weekend would be typical, but that's exactly how it didn't turn out. Friday, when I got home, hubby had prepared his famous chili. It was wonderful! I thought I would be feasting on it all weekend, but that was not to be. Saturday, I walked on the treadmill for a little over 50 minutes, than got the babe ready for her swimming lesson. We were at the pool for about an hour, than went to Burger Stop for a Shortstop meal for her and chicken sandwich for me. The sandwich (with a few of the babe's fries) actually filled me up. I put her down for her nap than took off again.

The cats were out of cat food, so I stopped at Sam's Club and got the cat food. Then, I went to the Movie Trading Company and picked up a couple of movies I'd been wanting to see. (Which reminds me, I really need to update the movie list. I did a lot of "scary movie" watching this weekend). Then I went to the liquor store. I was going to be brave and try some Sake for the first time, but then I changed my mind at the last minute and purchased a bottle of Kikkoman Plum Wine. Yum! Then, I went back home.

My sister-in-law just moved here and wanted to see the babe, so once she woke up from her nap, I got her ready and took her over for a visit. Then, I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things. After which, I went home and spent quality time with hubby. We sat up watching the classic Stepford Wives, with Katherine Ross, then we were going to watch the other movie I bought but, it didn't work. What a bummer! Hubby ran out and preceded to rent a collection of horror favorites: Friday the 13th, Halloween, An American Werewolf in London and Tales from the Darkside.

This probably isn't sounding like a terribly exciting weekend, but it was very different than what I envisioned my weekend would be. Hubby called in sick and stayed home with me Saturday night and last night. It was wonderful having him home with us. Yesterday, we decorated our front yard and stoop in Halloween garb. The babe loved that, but I think she may have contracted something (poor thing). Now, she's dealing with a bit of a cough. I hope it doesn't get worse.

We had HomeTown Buffet for breakfast, yesterday. I didn't eat much but something didn't agree with me. I had a passionate love affair with the bathroom last night. Not to get too detailed, it was not a pretty situation. Hubby thinks the tiny bit of corn beef hash may have sent my tummy into tailspins. It still floors me what I can and cannot eat anymore. Positive changes to your diet birth curious situations whenever you stray, I gotta tell yah.

I thought my weekend would be typical, but that's exactly how it didn't turn out. Friday, when I got home, hubby had prepared his famous chili. It was wonderful! I thought I would be feasting on it all weekend, but that was not to be. Saturday, I walked on the treadmill for a little over 50 minutes, than got the babe ready for her swimming lesson. We were at the pool for about an hour, than went to Burger Stop for a Shortstop meal for her and chicken sandwich for me. The sandwich (with a few of the babe's fries) actually filled me up. I put her down for her nap than took off again.

The cats were out of cat food, so I stopped at Sam's Club and got the cat food. Then, I went to the Movie Trading Company and picked up a couple of movies I'd been wanting to see. (Which reminds me, I really need to update the movie list. I did a lot of "scary movie" watching this weekend). Then I went to the liquor store. I was going to be brave and try some Sake for the first time, but then I changed my mind at the last minute and purchased a bottle of Kikkoman Plum Wine. Yum! Then, I went back home.

My sister-in-law just moved here and wanted to see the babe, so once she woke up from her nap, I got her ready and took her over for a visit. Then, I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things. After which, I went home and spent quality time with hubby. We sat up watching the classic Stepford Wives, with Katherine Ross, then we were going to watch the other movie I bought but, it didn't work. What a bummer! Hubby ran out and preceded to rent a collection of horror favorites: Friday the 13th, Halloween, An American Werewolf in London and Tales from the Darkside.

This probably isn't sounding like a terribly exciting weekend, but it was very different than what I envisioned my weekend would be. Hubby called in sick and stayed home with me Saturday night and last night. It was wonderful having him home with us. Yesterday, we decorated our front yard and stoop in Halloween garb. The babe loved that, but I think she may have contracted something (poor thing). Now, she's dealing with a bit of a cough. I hope it doesn't get worse.

We had HomeTown Buffet for breakfast, yesterday. I didn't eat much but something didn't agree with me. I had a passionate love affair with the bathroom last night. Not to get too detailed, it was not a pretty situation. Hubby thinks the tiny bit of corn beef hash may have sent my tummy into tailspins. It still floors me what I can and cannot eat anymore. Positive changes to your diet birth curious situations whenever you stray, I gotta tell yah.

I thought my weekend would be typical, but that's exactly how it didn't turn out. Friday, when I got home, hubby had prepared his famous chili. It was wonderful! I thought I would be feasting on it all weekend, but that was not to be. Saturday, I walked on the treadmill for a little over 50 minutes, than got the babe ready for her swimming lesson. We were at the pool for about an hour, than went to Burger Stop for a Shortstop meal for her and chicken sandwich for me. The sandwich (with a few of the babe's fries) actually filled me up. I put her down for her nap than took off again.

The cats were out of cat food, so I stopped at Sam's Club and got the cat food. Then, I went to the Movie Trading Company and picked up a couple of movies I'd been wanting to see. (Which reminds me, I really need to update the movie list. I did a lot of "scary movie" watching this weekend). Then I went to the liquor store. I was going to be brave and try some Sake for the first time, but then I changed my mind at the last minute and purchased a bottle of Kikkoman Plum Wine. Yum! Then, I went back home.

My sister-in-law just moved here and wanted to see the babe, so once she woke up from her nap, I got her ready and took her over for a visit. Then, I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things. After which, I went home and spent quality time with hubby. We sat up watching the classic Stepford Wives, with Katherine Ross, then we were going to watch the other movie I bought but, it didn't work. What a bummer! Hubby ran out and preceded to rent a collection of horror favorites: Friday the 13th, Halloween, An American Werewolf in London and Tales from the Darkside.

This probably isn't sounding like a terribly exciting weekend, but it was very different than what I envisioned my weekend would be. Hubby called in sick and stayed home with me Saturday night and last night. It was wonderful having him home with us. Yesterday, we decorated our front yard and stoop in Halloween garb. The babe loved that, but I think she may have contracted something (poor thing). Now, she's dealing with a bit of a cough. I hope it doesn't get worse.

We had HomeTown Buffet for breakfast, yesterday. I didn't eat much but something didn't agree with me. I had a passionate love affair with the bathroom last night. Not to get too detailed, it was not a pretty situation. Hubby thinks the tiny bit of corn beef hash may have sent my tummy into tailspins. It still floors me what I can and cannot eat anymore. Positive changes to your diet birth curious situations whenever you stray, I gotta tell yah.

I thought my weekend would be typical, but that's exactly how it didn't turn out. Friday, when I got home, hubby had prepared his famous chili. It was wonderful! I thought I would be feasting on it all weekend, but that was not to be. Saturday, I walked on the treadmill for a little over 50 minutes, than got the babe ready for her swimming lesson. We were at the pool for about an hour, than went to Burger Stop for a Shortstop meal for her and chicken sandwich for me. The sandwich (with a few of the babe's fries) actually filled me up. I put her down for her nap than took off again.

The cats were out of cat food, so I stopped at Sam's Club and got the cat food. Then, I went to the Movie Trading Company and picked up a couple of movies I'd been wanting to see. (Which reminds me, I really need to update the movie list. I did a lot of "scary movie" watching this weekend). Then I went to the liquor store. I was going to be brave and try some Sake for the first time, but then I changed my mind at the last minute and purchased a bottle of Kikkoman Plum Wine. Yum! Then, I went back home.

My sister-in-law just moved here and wanted to see the babe, so once she woke up from her nap, I got her ready and took her over for a visit. Then, I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things. After which, I went home and spent quality time with hubby. We sat up watching the classic Stepford Wives, with Katherine Ross, then we were going to watch the other movie I bought but, it didn't work. What a bummer! Hubby ran out and preceded to rent a collection of horror favorites: Friday the 13th, Halloween, An American Werewolf in London and Tales from the Darkside.

This probably isn't sounding like a terribly exciting weekend, but it was very different than what I envisioned my weekend would be. Hubby called in sick and stayed home with me Saturday night and last night. It was wonderful having him home with us. Yesterday, we decorated our front yard and stoop in Halloween garb. The babe loved that, but I think she may have contracted something (poor thing). Now, she's dealing with a bit of a cough. I hope it doesn't get worse.

We had HomeTown Buffet for breakfast, yesterday. I didn't eat much but something didn't agree with me. I had a passionate love affair with the bathroom last night. Not to get too detailed, it was not a pretty situation. Hubby thinks the tiny bit of corn beef hash may have sent my tummy into tailspins. It still floors me what I can and cannot eat anymore. Positive changes to your diet birth curious situations whenever you stray, I gotta tell yah.

I thought my weekend would be typical, but that's exactly how it didn't turn out. Friday, when I got home, hubby had prepared his famous chili. It was wonderful! I thought I would be feasting on it all weekend, but that was not to be. Saturday, I walked on the treadmill for a little over 50 minutes, than got the babe ready for her swimming lesson. We were at the pool for about an hour, than went to Burger Stop for a Shortstop meal for her and chicken sandwich for me. The sandwich (with a few of the babe's fries) actually filled me up. I put her down for her nap than took off again.

The cats were out of cat food, so I stopped at Sam's Club and got the cat food. Then, I went to the Movie Trading Company and picked up a couple of movies I'd been wanting to see. (Which reminds me, I really need to update the movie list. I did a lot of "scary movie" watching this weekend). Then I went to the liquor store. I was going to be brave and try some Sake for the first time, but then I changed my mind at the last minute and purchased a bottle of Kikkoman Plum Wine. Yum! Then, I went back home.

My sister-in-law just moved here and wanted to see the babe, so once she woke up from her nap, I got her ready and took her over for a visit. Then, I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things. After which, I went home and spent quality time with hubby. We sat up watching the classic Stepford Wives, with Katherine Ross, then we were going to watch the other movie I bought but, it didn't work. What a bummer! Hubby ran out and preceded to rent a collection of horror favorites: Friday the 13th, Halloween, An American Werewolf in London and Tales from the Darkside.

This probably isn't sounding like a terribly exciting weekend, but it was very different than what I envisioned my weekend would be. Hubby called in sick and stayed home with me Saturday night and last night. It was wonderful having him home with us. Yesterday, we decorated our front yard and stoop in Halloween garb. The babe loved that, but I think she may have contracted something (poor thing). Now, she's dealing with a bit of a cough. I hope it doesn't get worse.

We had HomeTown Buffet for breakfast, yesterday. I didn't eat much but something didn't agree with me. I had a passionate love affair with the bathroom last night. Not to get too detailed, it was not a pretty situation. Hubby thinks the tiny bit of corn beef hash may have sent my tummy into tailspins. It still floors me what I can and cannot eat anymore. Positive changes to your diet birth curious situations whenever you stray, I gotta tell yah.

Yesterday as I was riding home, I noticed how beautiful all the trees are. I promised myself that I would remember my camera so that I could capture these beautiful fall moments. I not surprisingly forgot. Last year, I said the same thing, "The leaves are so pretty. I have to take a picture of this!" It never happened. I would include one here, if I ever made the effort. I think it's just forgetfulness. I get home and everything I want to remember flees from my brain. That's usually the drill with me. Anyway, the leaves are beautiful and I'm glad that Utah has true seasons like Nashville. Oh, but there's nothing like the trees in fall in the south and back east. Breathtaking!

Last night, hubby made chicken medallions in marsala sauce (preprepared, but still wonderful) and twice baked potatoes. We've had a good time together on his days off, not necessarily doing anything special, but just spending time together. You know, cuddle time. I absolutely love it. He goes back to work tonight so, I'll have to mentally prepare myself for sleeping alone again.

I want to take the little one to the corn maze this weekend. My hubby was all freaked out about the haunted version, until I told him that I would be taking her to the "family friendly" version. (Yeah, he's not the only one who wants to deal with nightmares. She'll probably be ready for the haunted stuff sometime next year).

That's where I was, yesterday. It's the second summons I've received in the last month. When I got to the courthouse, I met several people who had received two or three themselves. How odd. The first one was settled out of court, but this one, I had to stick around and see if I was selected. I wasn't, thank goodness. It was an interesting experience, though and this is how it went:

Wednesday, I appeared at the Second District Court in front of Court Room 4 at 8:30 am. I was the second person to appear and sat with a very nice lady, Carol, who fell into the "typical mormon lady" category. She was a sweet, naive stay-at-home mom who probably allowed her husband to rule the roost, doing everything he says without question. She probably has a college degree, which she's never used, and is probably content never to use it. We sat and chatted watching as the two, potential jurors expanded to about 30 or 40. At around 8:45 am, a balif appeared and ushered us into the courtroom. The room was more calming than I expected...decorated with the State Seal and various copies of documents like the Consititution and the Bill of Rights. As we sat, the room became quiet. I looked up and noticed several cameras situated all around the courtroom. I commented to the gentleman next to me that the attorneys were probably watching us. There was also a television on a stand and as if reading my mind, the balif went over to the t.v. and announced that we would be watching a short film about the need and process of jury duty. From start to end, the film was pure cheese with an old lady ending the film with a happy, "Go for it!" The balif took the t.v. and rolled it into another room. Shortly thereafter, he returned with the court clerk. "All rise. The honorable Judge Garrett Hansen now presiding." The judge was an elderly man with silver hair...very distinguished. He gave us further instructions, telling us that the clerk would be pulling names randomly. Sixteen names were pulled (mine was not included). These 16 were questioned and interviewed to death (some were dismissed and their spots filled, my name never called during this) and then the attorneys selected their jury. The judge then stated that we could either sit and watch the preceedings or leave. He also said that we would be paid a full day's jury pay and also mentioned that it would be enough to probably by an ice cream cone. Lovely!

Things are super intense with my workouts. I'm doing my regular cardio during lunch and now a 50 minute walk at home. I know for some this is really not a whole lot, but for me it's major. I feel different already. I'm much more tired when I go to bed at night (I know that this will pass as I get used to things) and my clothes are doing much better. In fact, hubby bought me a size 8 dress which I fit into with no problem whatsoever. (Now, if I could just get into those capris before the weather goes too cold.)

I still live by the "don't deny yourself" rule and will continue to do so. I don't want to binge because I feel denied. That just causes more grief. I've got to work on the 80% rule again (that's 80% full). I tend to eat till I'm full and then stop. I tend to do much better when it's just 80% and then I find that I don't suffer from indigestion. That should be enough to stop me, but it hasn't for the past few nights. I'll get it together. I have to...those size 7 pants are calling my name.

Thursday, I did end up going home. I felt awful! A total train wreck from the moment I came in. I left at around 9:30 (with the new person still training...how nice). I didn't come in on Friday either. I slept most of the day, but it made all the difference. I felt like my old self by Saturday.

I did a lot of cooking this weekend (trying to get back into the flow of my old, good habits). Unfortunately, it wasn't the healthiest kind of cooking. Well, I guess some of it was. You be the judge:

Friday Evening:

Pad Thai noodles
Crab Cakes

Saturday:
Denny's Grand Slam (gave my bacon away/egg beaters instead of eggs)

McGrilled Chicken Sandwhich (no mayo/put on low-fat mayo at home)
Fries
Minute Maide Light Lemonade

Tempura Vegetables (fried in Vegetable oil) - Yams, carrots, broccoli and mushrooms
Minute White Rice


Sunday:
Walked on treadmill for 50 minutes/burned 314 cals and walked 3 miles

Homemade Waffels (3 w/light syrup)
Canadian bacon (browned in the skillet)

Leftover tempura


McDonald's Double Cheeseburger (totally blew it here)
Fries (2 orders of McValue, mistakenly put in bag. What, you wouldn't have eaten them??)

Yeah, okay. So, in black and white it's not quite looking like my normal menu, but I do have a plan. I have a pair of 7 pants that I have to get into by the end of October. I figure if I get on the ball again and start loosing like I know I can (whether that be weight or inches), I should have no problem getting into them. So, you send me good vibes and I'll send them to you. The craziness of last week's meeting frenzy is over. Normality is set to return and I can get back into the swing of things. I know I keep saying I'm going to do it and I really am. In fact, this evening will mark the first evening that I work out when I get home. I'll have to figure out something for the little one (prepared snacks or quick meals) but, I will do this. I can't afford to get sick and relapse back into old habits (which can happen when your ill). The best way to stay healthy and not get sick is to not go out with open pores on a cold morning or a wet head. Hubby says I can just get up earlier, but who wants to go to bed at 8:00 so they can get up at 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning during the colder months? "Not I," said the mouse. I will do this! I have to! My approaching size 7 pants and 30th birthday depends on it!!

I feel awful, today. I had a great time at our party last night, but this morning, it feels like I have a hangover or something (and I didn't have anything to "drink"). I don't know. I could have been the bungee jump, or perhaps it was the "tex mex" menu that wasn't so great. It could be that my workout and food schedule are all off kilter. Who, knows. All I know is that I better come up with something for my "person" to do if I should happen to call in sick tomorrow. This is not a good feeling. Not a good feeling at all. Yuck!

On a happier note, the party was a huge success! Everyone had a great time ice skating, hockey shooting, dogeballing and bungee jumping. We had raffles and gave away lots of palm pilots, digital cameras, gift cards and gifts from the oval store. Many people told me that it was so much better than the Christmas party. I'm glad everyone had such a good time.

Hubby and I were talking about getting back on track. It's no longer a want, it's a necessity for both of us. I stepped on the scale to see 164.5 this morning and nearly plotzed! What the hell? I know TOM is here and I know my week is a bit off, but I never expected that number. I'll never get into the 150's if I'm at that ridiculous number. Oh, brother! It's definitely time to pull up the boot straps and get going (after I stop feeling like crap, of course).

Today's the day. We'll be journeying up the road to our yearly, all-staff party. There's 140+ of us, now. When I started in 2001, there were maybe 20 employees. It's amazing! The party is being held at the Olympic Oval. The is the same Olympic Oval where the speed skating took place in 2002. In fact, while our esteemed president is speaking to us about numbers and statistics, the Olympic trainers will be training. I don't think our president will keep our focus for very long.

On the eating front, it's been pretty crazy. Yesterday, we were invited to stay at the faculty lunch. Of course, the faculty lunch was a Mexican buffet. I didn't over due it, but it's hard to keep Mexican food on the lighter fare. Dinners have been okay. Lots of protein (chicken and salmon, mostly). Yesterday, I had a deli chicken sandwich, chips, salsa and oatmeal for dessert (Yes, I said dessert. I happen to like oatmeal, thank you very much). My daughter ending up eating half of my sandwich, so that definitely helps with the reduction of calories, doesn't it?

I will be moving the workouts to the evening next week, like I said. I think it will be better to keep things clipping along. When the warm weather returns, I'll be happy to move my workouts back to the morning. Who knows. Maybe the drastic change in schedule will finally get me into the next bracket (oh Lord, let's hope so!).

My new person starts today and I'm a bit nervous. With so many of our staff away at meetings (including IT) I'm a little nervous that she won't have the tools she needs to really get started. I suppose it will be like the first days of school, you know, where you don't really do anything for the first couple of days. You get acquainted with the people in your class and the things that you'll be doing, but you don't actually do them. I don't know. Maybe I can come up with a paper-based task for her.

My weekend turned out wonderfully! Hubby was off and my daughter went to a friend's house. So, Friday, when I got home, hubby and I showered and dressed for dinner out. We went to Chuck-a-Rama (Up-chuckarama, 'round these parts). It was hubby's choice. We usually love it, but due to our change in eating and diet, it was not what we were expecting. After dinner, we went to a jazz club in the heart of Ogden city called The Wine Cellar. The atmosphere was great, except for the smoke (it's amazing how your lungs react to it when they haven't been exposed in a while. In Nashville, we were around smoke all the time. Utah is a smoke-free state so, the smoke atmosphere is very minimal). So, it was your typical smokey, jazz club with really great atmosphere but, the music? I guess we went on the wrong night because the guy who was playing, basically played variations on the same song. It got really old really fast. We left at around 10:00 (rather early for a club, I'd say). We went back home and had a night cap and great conversation.

Saturday morning, I took my hubby to Rivers close to the mouth of Cottonwood canyon. It was lovely and oh, so romantic. We'll have to check it out in the evening, sometime. I had the Grilled Chicken Caesar on a whole wheat wrap, along with Penne Arabiatta. Hubby had the blackened tacos and Spanish rice. Afterwards, we indulged and split a warm apple crumb bar served with vanilla bean ice cream. Yum! I was good until then. Man, you wouldn't think a little ice cream and cake would make you feel bad but I was feeling about 5 months pregnant for several hours after eating. Hubby said it was the sugar and that my body wasn't used to such a vast amount anymore. He's telling me! I was ready to give up sugar forever, after feeling like that. (Umm, just kidding). Anyway, we went shopping at a couple of stores after brunch, then went to the $.99 movie theater to see Anchorman. I haven't laughed so hard in a ages! That one is definitely a keeper. Hubby and I are big Will Ferrell fans, so that probably helped.

We had time on our hands, so we went to see another movie Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. It was much better than I expected, seeing that I didn't know what to expect after watching the cryptic trailers. The animation was terrific and the storyline very camp, post world war. Another keeper, in my opinion. Hubby fell asleep. After the movies, we went home and picked up dinner on the way. We watched four episodes of the animated incredible hulk series (hubby recently purchased a DVD). They weren't as good as the spider man series, in my opinion, but they were worth watching. Sunday, we went to church and after wards, picked up the babe from my friend's house. As I said, it was a great weekend.

The fall has really hit us here. It's freaking 56 degrees right now and it won't get much warmer. I'm starting to feel the thing I dreaded...fall comfort. The fall comfort feeling makes me not want to work out and eat like it's going out of style. I have to resist. I must resist. I can't put back on this weight I worked so hard to get off. I was thinking about how I can rearrange my schedule, so that I wouldn't make excuses. One thing I can do is move my morning workout to the evenings, before dinner. I may have to set up the dinners the weekend before or in the morning, so that I don't have a lot to prepare (the hang up is that the babe is usually starving, by the time we get home and giving her snacks just zaps her appetite). Moving the morning workout also prevents me from going out with a wet head on a chilly morning.

So, the schedule (starting next week, due to the craziness of this week's marathon meetings) is mid-day workouts (those won't change, but I will need to stay in doors for a bit to allow my pores to close before going out in the cold) then evening treadmill walks before dinner.

The insomnia is gone (I think). I slept so well last night that when my alarm went off, I actually didn't want to throw it across the room. How's that for effective sleeping! I went to the fridge to find a sweet note from my hubby, attached to a lunch he'd prepared for me, "Hope you slept well last night, honey. Have a good day." Too sweet, right?

I had a good breakfast this morning that I didn't finish. It's always hard to do that, but I know how guilty I'll feel if I don't. Not only is the guilt an issue, but it's how I'll feel physically that becomes an issue as well. Too full, and I want to throw up these days. My stomach must be smaller. Amen for that!

No big plans for the weekend, but I'm thrilled none the less. Perhaps I'll catch up on the rest I missed earlier this week or maybe I'll bum around in my underwear, not caring who sees me. Sounds good to me, either way. Oh, and I'm still on the Hot Rox. Some days are better than others. Hubby says that I always have to have some protein after taking these. Sometimes I have protein and sometimes I don't. I can always tell when I don't. The jitters start and I just have a paranoid feeling for the rest of the day. Not good. I'm not sure, yet, if it's doing anything. I'm completely off the L-Carnitine because I didn't know if there was something going on with the two interacting together or not. I didn't want to take the chance, even though hubby said it should be fine.

Monday, my part-timer will be here to train. It will be so great having the help. I still can't get over it (probably because I've been asking for help for nearly a year, with no sign of help coming). I think I'm still in a bit of denial.

Hooray! We've hired our person and she starts on Monday. I couldn't be more excited. I can't believe that, finally, I will have some help. It's just too good to be true. (Can you tell I'm just a bit happy about this?) Yesterday, I had every intention of blogging, but kept getting pulled away. We are in lots of meetings this week and, of course, we were conducting interviews and checking references. All for the greater good, I assure you. Anyway, I hope that things will calm down a bit over the next two days. I could really use the break and also the time to prepare how I will train her. She'll only be here four hours a day.

I've been dealing with a bit of insomnia for a couple of days. I've worked out at 11:00 or so at night to try and calm myself. After my shower, I always fall straight to sleep. I'm not sure if it has to do with hubby not being home at night or if there is something plaguing my mind subconsciously. (Isn't there always something plaguing our minds subconsciously??) I know I've been trying to job hunt more aggressively and that may be bothering me a bit. The person we're hiring to help may actually turn into my replacement (one can only hope!).

I had lunch with a co-worker yesterday who is very unhappy with her manager. It seems no one is really in tune to how low moral is. She suggested that they know, but are afraid to do anything about it. What ever happened to the days when you could discuss issues like this with your manager or HR person? I suppose in some places you still can, but not here. It's libel to be spread all over, once our HR person here's about it (or so, I'm told).

Oh, I was at 160 yesterday. I'm still fluctuating between those two or three pounds. I can't seem to get into the 150's and stay there. I'll be so glad when I do. It's like wearing the same underwear over and over again. After a while, they get old and raggedy. You're just so ready for something new. (Bad analogy, sorry).

We had our interview with our final, top candidate yesterday morning. She was great, except for being about 10 minutes late. When I checked with one of her references, the supervisor confirmed that this isn't out of the ordinary for her. (Hmmm, not sure I want to go there with an "iffy" person, know what I mean?) I'll certainly be glad when this process is over and I can start training, get miserably behind in my work, than magically catch up again. I think it will take about a month to get her used to the processes, whomever "she" may be.

I ordered a great top for my Halloween costume on eBay, not too long ago (yep. I'm already planning. It's best to do these things ahead before everything is gone, I believe). Anyway, it was about ten days ago with no word from the seller. I then wrote to the seller to ask what was going on, well, I wasn't expecting the answer I got. " As it indicates in our description, we ship only twice per week. We were a bit delayed, due to preparations for Ivan, but your item will be shipped tomorrow." Oh, man. Bring on the guilt! There are lots of our students who are preparing for Ivan as well (we're nationwide, so our students are everywhere). Most of them are really worried about not being able to turn in homework and other assignments, if they're evacuated to different locations. Talk about devotion! I think my biggest worry would be, "What the heck am I going to do with my dog/cats/stuff?"

I retouched my roots on Sunday last. Since then, I've gotten all sorts of compliments on the color. It's still not quite the bronze shade I want it. I found a light blonde that may take it up to the correct shade. If not, it's full-on wigs for me again. That might be a bit tricky, seeing as I work out most days and a sweaty wig isn't attractive. I can't see myself pulling it off in the locker room and effectively scaring everyone in there. I suppose I'd just go black if it looks horrible (then watch all of my hair fall out from overprocessing). I'm so positive, ain't I?

I'm having lunch with a friend tomorrow. She's quite a gal, I must say. So different from the locals. A true rebel, that's why I like her I'm sure. It should be a great lunch, I'm just worried will have a large posse invite themselves to go with us. Not that I'm antisocial, but sometimes you just want to be one-on-one with a person. There more likely to open up and not feel restricted to keeping the conversation conservative because of present company. Anyway, I'm anxious to get her insight into some things.

Wow! What a week, I had. Tuesday night, we went to the Usana Amphitheater to see Prince (Musicology Tour). It was amazing! That man is still pulling in the huge crowds, and he's nearing his 50's! The venue is an outdoor one, so we were on the lawn with blankets. It was the Babe's first concert and she had a blast. She entertained all those around us, until Prince took the stage. You would have thought the concert was for her. The night was star-filled and warm...the perfect night for an outdoor concert. Wednesday, I took the day off because I knew I would be no good to anyone, after being up way too late on a Tuesday. Thursday and Friday were spent handling phone and face-to-face interviews for the person who will, eventually, be helping me (we have one this morning too). Consequently, because my schedule was all screwy, so was my eating. I could kick myself for going so overboard with everything, especially with my goal to try and drop another ten pounds in 6-weeks (it's doable, but it will be tough, what with this freaking plateau and all).

Anyway, it's Monday and it's going to be a full day, so I'm trying to stay positive and be optimistic. It was so hard getting out of bed this morning. My first thought was, "I can't wait till I'm working in my own city so that I don't have to get up at this sin-awful hour anymore" Then I thought, "Man, do I really have to work out? I can just do it this evening" Well, of course I have to work out, so I did. In fact, I'm thinking that doing three workouts today might stave off the damage from last week and this past weekend.

These are the weekends where I know that a vacation would have rejuvenated me for the remainder of the year, but that was not to be. I really am feeling it. I think I was feeling it before but, gosh! What can I do to make this more tolerable? Maybe I can get a better night's sleep or eat better foods (of course, that will make a huge difference, I know). Come on motivation. I need you in spades!

Phew! Hubby has me on full dosage of the Hot Rox now and I am completely racing. Ughh! No caffeine at all, but I feel like I'm about to take off. This is the same feeling I used to get when I took Ripped Fuel (of course, that had ephedra and this doesn't). I can't reach my hubby, but I think I'll go back to have the dose. This is way too out of control a feeling for me.

The day has flown by (perhaps because I'm racing or perhaps because there is just so much to do). In any case, I'm so glad about the fact that the day is almost gone. I'll be off tomorrow and I'm even more thrilled about that.

I did pretty well over the weekend with my eating. The only day that kind of acted as a splurge was Sunday. We had Taco Bell for dinner and I had one of those new value menu, combo burritos. Boy, what a mistake. I found out that one of those suckers has 19 grams of fat and of course, that wasn't all I had. Couple the burrito with a spicy chicken burrito and a krispy kreme donught. A menu for disaster! The next day, I jumped on the treadmill but also shaped up my calories to a minimal 1300. I hope that helps for Wednesday (today has been good too).

Well, I'm off to a meeting. This should help in speeding the day along. I always come back to multiple emails which keep me hoping.

Today, I'm working from home. I got a great deal done in the first few hours, but now I'm seeing that the "catching up" I wanted to do is proving a bit futile. Everyone else is off today, so those people I would be communicating with, in order to catch up, are not available. The babe is napping and hubby just came home from work and working out. He'll be down for the count momentarily. So, here I am. Just me and my computer.

Oh, and I'm not sure if anyone as checked but I did update the movie links to the left last week. Since the update, I've seen a couple more, but I'll wait until next time to enter those reviews. That reminds me, it's about time to update the movie list again. We did some buying and trading a few weeks back and things are completely out of control. Pretty soon, the movies will need their own storage room!

I've been on the hunt for a Lillian Vernon costume for my little one. eBay has them sometimes for a lot cheaper than the retail price. The babe wants to be a cat this year. The costume retails for around $35.00 and I just can't bring myself to spend that much on a costume she'll only wear once. That's the thing with kids - they out grow things at hyperspeed,whereas my costumes will last me forever.

I hear hurricane Frances is breaking up and is looking more like a tropical storm, now. That's terrific for the folks in Florida (including my grandma). I can't imagine the kind of damage they experienced, and just after Charlie, too! What a mess. I hope they recover quickly.

Other than working from home today, all is well. I'll be back in the office tomorrow and will be off on Wednesday. Unfortunately, that's the day the babe's dance classes start up again. She's been anticipating these all summer. So, I'll be driving into town on Wednesday (against my better judgment). Perhaps I can find something to do while she's dancing. Breakfast out? Shopping? A Movie? I guess we'll see...

It's been pouring since early this morning and I love it! Utah never sees enough of the wet stuff so, when a down pour happens, I'm too excited about it. They say we're getting some of the effects of Frances (the hurricane currently pounding Jamaica). My grandmother lives in Daytona, so I quickly called her yesterday to see if all was well. True to form, she was unfazed, "God will take care of me, " she said. They've begun evacuating the southern most part of the state and have moved people from the hopsitals to safer places. This storm is going to be something, especially if we're getting some of it (even way out here!).

Today is my lunch date with my girlfriend. Too excited about the impending carbo fest, I gotta tell yah. I love pasta! Actually, I have an affinity with anything Italian: food, wine, fashion, men....

This morning, after I took the Rox first thing, I jumped on the treadmill. After about 20 minutes, the weird vision thing happened. Again, only for a second or two, but enough for me to notice. I think too that I noticed a surge in my heart rate, so it must effect the metabolism. Hubby's on the Zantrex and says that it doesn't do that heart-flutter thing he thought it would. He feels awake, alert, revived and regenerated, but not ready to take off into the wild blue yonder. I wonder if their claims are accurate...how can anything be 546% more effective, that's what I'd like to know.

I'm down a pound today...not that I'm complaining and I know that weight fluctuates from day to day, but could it be the rox? I don't know. If it is...hooray for the rox! I'm a believer! I guess I'll have to see what next Wednesday says. If it's significant, than we'll know it's the rox.

Tomorrow I have lunch out with a friend at Buca di Beppo. It's a family style Italian restaurant that I'm told is ultra kitsch (did I spell that right?). I'm excited to go. I haven't had authentic Italian in a long time, but I absolutely love it. It's like carbo heaven in a bowl!

Did anyone catch the VMA's on Sunday? They were quite tame, in my opinion, but I loved the location. I was just thinking about them because that was the timeframe in which they chose to complete the Gap ad, featuring Lenny Kravitz and Sarah Jessica Parker. You know, she's one of those few tiny people that doesn't look like a crack-head (Jada Pinkett is another). They are naturally small and in really good shape. The only thing with Ms. Parker/Broderick is that, even though she's got a rockin' bod, lots of charm and style, she's not the prettiest woman in the world. (And what's with that witch's mole? Am I being petty or what?) I'm also not too crazy about those man-hands she sports. Well, anyway, back to the ad. I think it's really catchy and fun. If I weren't so against the forced marketing of "anyone who's cool, should shop at the Gap" I'd shop there.

I had a long talk with a coworker yesterday about talent agencies and acting. It was fascinating, getting the scoop from her about her experiences and I was glad to have someone to talk about concerning mine (with the babe's career, anyway). If they can, they will gouge the life out of you so it's very important to be careful. Some front at photography agencies, not talent. They'll have you spending your life savings on photos for the next few years of your life (not the way to go). Talent agencies should only make money when you do. A few pictures up front is fine, but hundreds of dollars worth is ridiculous.

We also talked movies, which made me remember that I haven't updated my movie links in a while. I'll try to do that before the end of the week, because I've seen quite a few including Monster, Taking Lives, Godsend, Kill Bill vol. 2.

Today has been pretty good, thus far. I found out about my raise today. Hooray! You know, I'm glad about it but that phrase I heard keeps running through my head, "They don't pay you what your worth, but they give you just enough to keep coming back for more." Ain't it the truth! Still, I know that I have a job and so many others do not. I am grateful.

Take a look to the left...down a pound, despite TOM last week. So glad about that too. I think I'm finally crawling out of my funk. Boy, was it bad this time. Do men endure this kind of thing? Seems like it's only us girls who get to deal with the hormonal flux. What joy!

I'm going to be working from home on Labor Day and taking that Wednesday off. It's a good trade off, considering we will be out late on Tuesday night and I'm sure I won't want to get up and come to work. It also allows me to keep my regular vacation in stock, rather than pilfer away one of my days.

We have reached the season of holidays: Labor Day (September), Columbus Day (October), Thanksgiving and the day after (November), Christmas Eve Day and Christmas Day (December), New Years Day and MLK Day (January), and finally President's Day (February). At least one day off each month until March. I love it! I'll take a couple of days in October, along with Columbus day because my best friend will be flying out here. I'm so happy about that! I didn't get to see her last year (when it was her turn) so, we're a year behind. We try to take turns seeing each other each year. Next summer or fall, it will be my turn (and hopefully, it will be during her wedding, if everything works out).

Suppose I'd better head to the gym. I didn't notice the vertigo thing happen with the Hot Rox this morning. I'll take another one when I come back from the gym. I guess it's working. Who, knows. Maybe I'll take stock at the end of the month to see if it's worth buying more. Oh, and I'm still on the L-Carnitine too.

I can't quite seem to get out of this funk (bitchy mood, according to hubby). I'm not sure if it's the moon or my hormones fluctuating (you know, going back to normal after TOM. God, I hope that's what it is so I can finally stable out). Anyway, I was in meeting after meeting today (which is why I was unable to post this morning). I've also started the new supplement I talked about a few days ago. Hot Rox. Hubby has me on half the dose but, I missed a pill this afternoon, due to all the meetings. The first pill I had I took just after dropping off my little one at school/daycare. After about 6 or 7 minutes, my vision did something weird...a kind of equilibrium, off balance sort of weird. I'm not sure if it was just me or the supplement kicking in. I was going to pay attention to how I felt, after I took the second pill but, that never happened. I suppose I'll run my experiment tomorrow.

I wore an outfit today that I bought when I was in highschool or college. It's an 11/12 with absolutely no give. It fit perfectly. So, I wondered if it fit just right because it's polyester and there's no give or if the sizes have changed a bit in just these few years. What I mean is that if you compare the sizes of clothing from say 1950 to what we wear now, there's a huge difference. Most women measured quite petitely, back in the day. They would be considered a modern size 4 or 6, but that was the norm. The size that was displayed in their clothing, may have said 14 or 16. With each decade, clothing manufacturers "adjust" the sizes. It's basically a "feed the mass's ego" kind of thing that's occurred over the past few decades. I can't remember if I mentioned this before but, huge retailers like the Gap already do this. A four from the Gap is really a six or eight from other retailers.

My mother was telling me that they're getting ready to change the sizes again (not sure when). So, I'd be a 6 or 7 when it happens. I think it's so crazy that they do this. Everyone knows that the obesity problem in America (and the UK) is out of control. Why are they blinding people into believing that they are fine and healthy the way that they are? For a lot of people, our size alone is what motivates us to get fit and stay healthy (not that it should always be a determine factor, but that's how many women think). Man, if I purchased a size 4 skirt and could get into it, why would I work to improve myself? I'm a size four, right? Unbelievable! Then, where does that put those folks that are already a 0 or 2, back into the children's sizes? I guess that's the only place you can go, or maybe they'd make up some kind of uber petite section in the stores.

What they should do is base sizes on measurements like in other countries. That makes more sense. A 34 means you're 34" throughout the chest and back from some countries (34A, 34B or 34C to be specific). That's what you are, so that's what you wear in a blouse, for example. I don't know. My feelings about this are pretty strong. I guess it's that not appreciating the way marketers force the consumer into a corner. It really pisses off the hippy in me. But, I'm really digressing.

The outfit today was black - a skirt and front-zippered top. I received many compliments, but thought it odd that it was a "right on" 11 (when I'm sporting a size 9 and 10 these days). I wasn't sure how to feel about it. Have I made progress? Do I look different than I did in highschool (body shape, wise)? I think I do. I was checking out my hips in some of my pictures and they are way more pronounced than they were in high school. I guess child bearing will do that. Oh, man. I wonder how I'll look 10 or even 20 pounds from now? Will I recognize the new me because I really will be new. I won't ever look like I did 10 years ago. That seems so weird. Seems like if you drop weight and go back to a size you once were, you'll look like you did when you were that size. Not true in the least (well, maybe for some people). I don't think that will be the case for me.

Labor Day weekend is coming and I have no plans. Hubby will be working through it, so I suppose I need to find something for me and the babe to do. Too bad there aren't any kid movies out right now that I can take her too. Perhaps I'll take her to the park or roller skating. We've been hanging out in the 70's and 80's the past couple of weeks. It's been really nice feeling that fall tinge in the air.

That's the best way to describe how I'm feeling today. iMood had a variety of ways to describe this feeling, but I settled on sad. I had a pretty nice weekend, but the moon was full and had my emotions on overdrive. It was like I was pmsing all over again (not a nice feeling to say the least). I was snappy, rude and overall not great fun to be with. When I saw the moon this morning, I knew what was going on. Oh, I know. Some people think that's just an old wives tale but, I believe the moon has a huge effect on human beings. Think about this: a satellite that actually controls the tides in our oceans and dictates weather trends. Remember, we are 80 to 85% water ourselves. You can't tell me that it doesn't have an effect on us as well. Anyway, I'm still feeling like this and I'm sure it won't dissipate until the moon begins to shift again.

Over the weekend, we went to the Ogden Balloon Festival which was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, we did not get to see any of the balloons taking off (they did that part at around 6:30 am that morning, much too early on a Saturday for me). We did get to visit the booths, venues and rides. The babe received her first pony ride Saturday. She loved it! I felt a bit bad for the ponies. They looked bored and I wanted to unhitch all of them and let them run free (probably wouldn't have set so well with the owners). She also got two air-brushed tattoos, which she is becoming more and more miffed about (they are starting to disappear and she is not pleased). The most interesting part, for us, was walking through several motor coaches. Hubby and I would never consider buying one of these (first off, because they're too damn expensive and secondly, we're not ones for camping). However, these were absolutely beautiful! I could certainly see why some superstars prefer riding in these, rather than flying. You have everything right there! Kitchen, washer, dryer, shower, bathroom, queen-size bed, dining area, love seats and coaches. Even the driver's and driver's side seats are reclining easy chairs.

Hubby and I see people around here driving them all the time. Utah is a big outdoorsy state, so it makes sense. Goodness! I'd be afraid to drive one of those things. No wonder you have to be trained to drive them. I suppose it's close to driving a freight truck or something. Hubby's friend has one (they are quite wealthy) and it has a chandelier. A freaking chandelier! I can't even imagine.

Well, for one who is as jumbled up as I am right now, that last passage sounded pretty enthusiastic and it was (see what I mean by jumbled)? I hope the rest of the day gets better. You know. The first thing I thought when I got up this morning is, "Man, I don't want to go to work today." When I got here it was, "Man, I'm really tired of this commute." Boy, am I ever and it's not even winter yet when I really start getting fed up with it.

I'm wearing these print pants I bought last year. They're really cute and something that you wouldn't find at an ordinary department store. The print displays WWII, Ms. America winners all over. The pants are blue and off-white. They're a size 12...and they are literally staying on me by the grace of God (no belt loops, so I couldn't wear a belt). But, I really wanted to wear these pants again. As I said, they're super cute and go great with my angel sleeve, silk top that I'm wearing (let's also not forget the Italian mules with the rhinestones) No one is in my office, hardly, and already I've received three compliments. Great for the ego.

I suppose I won't be able to wear them again, but I refuse to give these away. I know, I know. You hear all the time that after you've dropped weight and if you're continuing to drop weight, you should get rid of all your fat clothes. Well, I just love these pants too much. Maybe they'll be my one treasure from my fat days. That seems so weird, saying that. Not that I'm where I want to be yet, by any means. I'm just not the same person I was in January (body person, I mean).

I'm having a protein packed breakfast (I was craving eggs this morning). The other day when I had eggs and potatoes, it made me feel good all day. I suppose I'll need to find some "easy fixings" in those two areas (much cheaper than stopping and buying, although I think that's perfectly fine to do, sometimes).

I feel badly. I haven't watched any of the Olympics this year. Perhaps it was the surgery and the recuperation period. Perhaps I'm just not that interested, I don't know. Normally, I would be glued to the gymnasts and swimmers, but I haven't seen anything! The winter Olympics will be in Italy in two years. Those should be exciting. I hope I have the motivation to watch, then. We really loved having them here. My hubby worked police patrol in Park City and saw lots of celebrities. He even met Ving Rhames (Marcelas from Pulp Fiction). But, I digress.

No big plans for the weekend, just laundry and hanging out. I don't even want to do anything, per se. I think I might trade some old DVDs and get new ones (we have several that we've only watched once and have no intentions of watching again). That way, I'll at least get out of the house.

Once last thing, one of the items I ordered from eBay arrived last night. It's lovely, but I look like a total prostitute (well, how could I not? It's a backless halter? What in hell was I thinking?) I may save it to wear just for hubby. He loves naked clothes. We very rarely go to clubs, but I'd even be self-conscious wearing one there. Maybe if I were really drunk....

This morning, my little one and I were making our commute into town. We were listening to the radio and every so often she would say, "Mommy, what's this song called?" and I'd do my best to tell her, if I could even distinguish a title. At close to the end of our ride, she says, "Mommy, I miss my daddy." Well, my heart just broke. "He didn't come in and kiss me goodnight, because he was sleeping. I don't see my daddy." That's about when my hard crumbled into a million pieces. She's right. This changing shifts business has gotten his sleeping habits all screwed up.

initially, he was supposed to work his shift, then come home and go straight to bed. A little before we get home, he's supposed to get up, and be available by the time we get home. Unfortunately, he's all wired from working and can't fall right to sleep. The last couple of days, he's been up all day doing one thing or another then he crashes by the time we get home. Therefore, neither myself nor the babe have any quality time with him. I guess I hadn't notice how much it was bothering us because last night, I didn't sleep well at all. The babe kept popping awake too. Then, I turned my alarm clock off and almost slept the day away. Luckily, I woke up fifteen minutes before we were supposed to leave (luckily?). I called him on his cell phone, on our way to work and only received his voicemail. I can't remember, but it seems like he has an appointment today with a trainee. I can't even keep up with his schedule anymore!

Something will have to change because this is just how it was when he worked on swing shift, except now it's worse. There's a child involved. Not only that, he's actually home, but we can't do anything about that. Waking him up is like waking up the dead. I can't believe we have to endure this for a year. Oh, brother.

Well, not to be all doom and gloom today. I do have some promising news. As I've been checking the classifieds, things are looking up. I'm starting to find things that I qualify for and that pay a decent amount. The trick is the pay. I'm at a point in my life where I know my worth, so that's what I want to be paid. It may prevent me from obtaining certain positions, but I really don't care. I work hard and am good at what I do. Most people feel like they should be paid what they are worth, well now, I'm acting on that. I went to school, I've gained experience and have definitely paid my dues. It's my turn.

I feel like I should have balloons or a really cool flash animation that showers this blog entry with sparkles. (Okay, maybe that's going a bit overboard for just 100 entries). I'm always up for a celebration.

You will note to the left that I have successfully dropped one half pound, despite TOM showing up yesterday. I was very happy about that this morning. I felt heavy, bloated and generally unattractive. It's always nice to be proven wrong with the wrong is a benefit to yourself. I'm still sore in the gums, but it gets a little better everyday. In fact, one week to the hour ago today I was under the fog being drilled (hmm, that last bit probably reads a little sordid, but you know what was going on). Two hours later, I would have been rambling to my hubby in his truck about who knows what. Poor, guy. He's suffered with me through so much. He's a good guy. He really is.

I was mistaken with yesterday's gym Olympic prizes. There is a dinner and a movie certificate (I think I just said dinner, yesterday) and several training sessions but I saw nothing about massages. Oh, how that would have been nice for someone (maybe, me). I don't know why they didn't do that. It would have been a good selling tool. Get someone hooked on massages then once all the freebies run out, they'll start paying for them for sure.

My girlfriend emailed me about any plans for a summer vacation. When I told her about the stuff that happened at the end of July (you'll remember that we were planning for Vegas when my mother decided to pull out two days before the trip and how pissed we were), well it all started flooding back and I got mad all over again. I really wanted to get out of town, you know. There's some inherent need in me to vacate the state about every 7 or 8 months. The same was true when I lived in Tennessee. We would go to Atlanta or Daytona. That was usually just enough to quiet my nomadic spirit. I'm in need of travel! Granted, all I really have to do is drive a few hours in any direction and I could be in Idaho (joy! - notice the sarcasm?), Wyoming (ultra, joy! - no way in hell), Arizona (Now, that could be fun), Nevada (oh, please! Take me away!). It's probably not going to happen until next year. Well, maybe that can be my big 30 birthday present. A trip away with all the thrills and spills I want (I'm dreaming, right?).

I really am. My gums are still a bit sore and I'm still feeling like I should adjust my jaw or something, but other than that, I'm feeling more like me. I'm very glad about that. It's always hard to adjust and then readjust after a surgery or procedure or whatever. Even with eating plans, you have to do some kind of adjusting and if you go off for a while a readjustment back to whatever the plan was. I fell back into the plan with grace, I must say. Yesterday, I was in the 1200 calorie neighborhood and it felt good. Not only that, I did two workouts (one morning and one at lunch). I plan on doing the two again today.

The gym Olympics appear to be going well. Now, there's a big billboard in the lobby that shows what the prizes will be: 2 roundtrip tickets to anywhere JetBlue flies, one dinner for two, and 12 personal training sessions. You know, if I won those personal training sessions, I would be royally pissed off. Those trainers look like twigs and have nothing on my hubby. I often wonder how a personal trainer can even self-promote when they don't look like what they're advertising. Granted, they don't have to be super buff body builders, but they do have to look like they're tone, in good shape and have a clue of what they're talking about. I think another one of the prizes is a series of massages. Now, that's something I can definitely get into. Who knows, though. I may end up with a water bottle and a carton of protein bars.

I'm still taking the L-Carnitine in liquid form. I can't tell if it's making a difference or not. I've had so much going on, what with the surgery, water retention and impending TOM. I guess I really won't know until the second or third week of September. Bummer. Hubby is also investigating the idea of my taking Zantrex-3 or Hot Rox. I've done my homework and discovered that both are very expensive (he claims that he can get them both very cheap through his "resources". My hubby - the supplements dealer. ) I also did some research on their ingredients. Hot Rox is probably more up to speed with what I'd prefer. It has to do with enhancing natural metabolic reactions, where Zantrex is full of caffeine and other stimulants. I can barely drink a cup of coffee without climbing the walls. That stuff would have me on overdrive. (I took Ripped Fuel for a time, a couple of years back...and this was still with Ephedra. Holy cow! After about a week, I was done with the stuff. Seriously. It was like what I imagine being on speed would be like.) Even though Zantrex-3 doesn't have ephedra, the caffeine alone is enough to make me not want to take it.

On a different note, I've been working hard on preparing meals at home this week. This morning, I seasoned a whole fryer chicken and dug out the rotisserie so that when I get home, all I have to do is put it on the spit and viola! Dinner in an hour. (The babe will have time to tear-up the concrete with her birthday big wheel for a while. She's so cute on it and it brings back so many memories for me).

Well, I suppose I better get back to the gazillion emails that are awaiting me. TTFN!

I'm back and boy is my jaw sore! I'm hoped up on Ibuprofen, right now. I didn't dare bring my Loritab's to work (I'd probably be passed out on the keyboard right about now). It was pretty freaky. Well, the whole knock-you-out-for surgery-purposes is always a bit freaky. It was as if I closed my eyes and then opened them again to a fog. Wednesday is pretty hazy and I don't remember much, except feeling really ill when hubby tried to feed me mashed potatoes. I actually had watermelon as my staple for that day. It was cool, refreshing and oh so tasty. Thursday, I managed to peruse around the fair grounds with hubby and the babe while still heavily medicated. (I definitely documented that time for our gym Olympics). Friday, we were at home most of the day, but we did venture out for a brief shopping excursion. That was also the day hubby was to begin the graveyard shift. Unfortunately, no one told him that the schedule had been changed and he was supposed to start on Saturday, not Friday, so he drags himself back home at 1 in the morning. What a mess!

Saturday, we hung out at home a lot. Most of this hanging out is me laying around in the bed doped up on many drugs. I'm sure the babe was way excited to be going back to school today (she'll probably be exhausted from all of the activity, when I pick her up). Eating has been a challenge all week, but I haven't lost that much weight (TOM is on it's way, so I'm holding on to water) I did weigh on Wednesday of last week at came in at 162. I was happy to see that again. Two days later, I was two pounds up. I knew it was water right away because I hadn't had much to eat.

I'm still in focus mode because I know that there are only a few months left until my birthday. January may seem like eons away, but it'll be here before we know it. In fact, the weather around here is on a sprint towards fall. No higher than the 70's today with lots of rain. Rain? We never get rain. Oh, and it's totally dark now when I leave for work. Another sign of the season's impending change. I'm ready, but cautious. I just don't want to loose this focus. I want to be skinny and fabulous in my winter duds. It seems almost unfair to want something for your physique, only to hide it because of the weather. I guess that's what I'll need to keep my fervor up for next spring.

I don't know what happened yesterday, but it looks as if my post went into crack fits. What the hell? I'm not sure what to do about it, aside from deleting it altogether (can you do that?). I'll probably just leave it as is and write it off as a fluke.

Tomorrow's the big day. I'm not as nervous as I thought I would be. I think I'll start to freak out when I actually get there. That's usually what happens with me. Even as a dancer, I was fine until the few moments before the performance, then the nerves would set in. After a tad bit of nervousness, I'd go out on stage and be fine (completely involved with the performance).

The food thing has been pretty good today and yesterday. I feel a lot better after my tea cleaning. Boy, that stuff really does the trick! I don't know how to feel about being on a diet of just soup (and maybe mashed potatoes or grits) the next few days. If I loose a bit of weight, my body will just hold onto everything when solid foods are reintroduced (see my "fasting" blog entries). I'm really worried about the emails that will accumulate in my inbox, while I'm away. My boss mentioned the same thing. I think the only thing I can do is pop in on Saturday, hopefully I'll be feeling better, and work through some of them. That way, I won't have a gazillion on Monday when I come in. My boss said that the Finance VP is putting an ad in the paper on Sunday. I was very happy to hear that, but I was not involved in the creation of the ad. Should I be upset? I think I should, but I just don't have the energy to fuss about it. I fuss about everything as it is.

Hubby rented lots of movies to keep me entertained while I'm bed ridden (or whatever the heck happens when you have lots of teeth pulled). I hope I heal fast and don't have to deal with this for too long. The county fair is this week and I'd really like to take the babe. They have free pony rides and carnival rides. I think she'd get a big kick out of it. Even if hubby decided to take her on his own, I'd feel bad. I like participating in those things that she's never experienced before. It's just such a treat to see her reactions. Oh, to be a mom.

One last thing: I was summoned for jury duty over the weekend. The date? Why, tomorrow of course. And, I couldn't call in to say that I was having surgery or anything until after 12:00 pm today. Well, I've been summoned a total of three times in my life (including this time). Each time, something has happened where I could not participate. The first time, they summoned me to appear on the same day as my wedding. The second time, I had moved here but they sent it from Tennessee. Today, I called and I got a message saying that the case had been settled. I wonder what will happen the next time? [smile]

Damn. I had a whole post and Netscape just went completely crazy on me. I had all this great stuff about how I'm truly going to focus (even though I did slip up a bit yesterday, only because it was my daughter's birthday party). I had one slice of cake and one slice of pizza; however, when hubby and I went to see Alien vs. Predator, we snuck in Wendy's burgers and fries. Yikes!

I know my goal and I know that the only way to achieve it is to buckle down and do what I've got to do. I have a little more than four months to get to where I want to be, and I believe I can do it in that time. Splurge days are fine, but even a splurge can be controlled. The holidays are coming and I can't loose it now or there's no going back. Once I crest into fall, it's too easy to say, "To heck with this! I'm having my cake and eating it too, the whole cake in fact." No. I can't be that person I was. I can't look at my nines and tens a couple of months from now saying, "I wish, I hope." No. No. No. That is not going to happen. I want to be slipping into 6's by Christmas. I want to be dawning on fours by my birthday (well, maybe). If this is really to be, I have to take charge and control of my life, as I did this past January. I can do this. I can make what I want happen and I will. I can be the healthy person that I need to be for myself and for my family. I will make this happen. I must!

Yesterday was the celebration day of the babe's birthday (her actual birthday is today. My daughter was born the same day as Madonna. Hmm.....). We had cake and pizza (lovely, fattening combination). But, did I mention that hubby and I had Wendy's while watching Alien Vs. Predator that afternoon? Man, am I feeling it today. Hubby calls them "splurge" days, but I don't think I should be having any more of these anytime soon. To help compensate, I jumped on the treadmill first thing this morning and walked for 50 minutes. I also brought my gym bag, so I'll be on the elliptical at lunch time. Right now, I'm sipping on my slimming tea (i.e, tea that makes you go potty in about four to six hours).

It wasn't a complete bust. We did swim on Saturday and I actually got into the lap pool and really swam in there for a while. Most of the time, we're just playing, but the lap swimming makes you totally remember why swimming is considered a sport.

I do remember saying that I had to focus and I really tried to, but with this weekend's festivities, it was very hard:

"Who are you trying to convince, the readers or yourself?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I think I'm just trying to get it out so it is out there."

"Are you expecting sympathy or reassurance, because I'm not going to give it to you."

"That's good to know and to hear. Maybe it will give me the swift kick in the pants that I need. I actually thought, while driving in to work today, just why am I doing all of this? What is the ultimate goal? Why to look hot by 30, of course. That's the goal and that's why I can't steer away from it. I've come so far. I can't turn back now."

"So, what are you waiting for, a sign from God? You already know what you have to do to achieve your goals. You know what it takes and you know how to do it, so, just do it."

"Thank you, Nike advertising. I will."

Yesterday was the celebration day of the babe's birthday (her actual birthday is today. My daughter was born the same day as Madonna. Hmm.....). We had cake and pizza (lovely, fattening combination). But, did I mention that hubby and I had Wendy's while watching Alien Vs. Predator that afternoon? Man, am I feeling it today. Hubby calls them "splurge" days, but I don't think I should be having any more of these anytime soon. To help compensate, I jumped on the treadmill first thing this morning and walked for 50 minutes. I also brought my gym bag, so I'll be on the elliptical at lunch time. Right now, I'm sipping on my slimming tea (i.e, tea that makes you go potty in about four to six hours).

It wasn't a complete bust. We did swim on Saturday and I actually got into the lap pool and really swam in there for a while. Most of the time, we're just playing, but the lap swimming makes you totally remember why swimming is considered a sport.

I do remember saying that I had to focus and I really tried to, but with this weekend's festivities, it was very hard:

"Who are you trying to convince, the readers or yourself?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I think I'm just trying to get it out so it is out there."

"Are you expecting sympathy or reassurance, because I'm not going to give it to you."

"That's good to know and to hear. Maybe it will give me the swift kick in the pants that I need. I actually thought, while driving in to work today, just why am I doing all of this? What is the ultimate goal? Why to look hot by 30, of course. That's the goal and that's why I can't steer away from it. I've come so far. I can't turn back now."

"So, what are you waiting for, a sign from God? You already know what you have to do to achieve your goals. You know what it takes and you know how to do it, so, just do it."

"Thank you, Nike advertising. I will."