The fat, I mean. I had a great loss this morning; 1.4lbs, putting me back into the 180s at 189.8lbs. Hooray! It was not so long ago that I would have been starting a round at this weight. Now, I'm celebrating my return. It's an odd road we travel and sometimes I have to just sit back and laugh at

the way things work out. It is good to know that I am headed to a healthier me and that I'm not as caught up in being a particular size as I once was. Is that age? Wisdom? Whatever it is, I'll take it.

Here's what I had today:

Lunch
Beef - Ground, 95% lean meat / 5% fat, patty, cooked, broiled (hamburger), 1 serving ( 3 oz )	151	0	6	22	55	0
Kroger's - Kroger Kosher Dill Baby Pickles, 4 pickle	20	4	0	0	880	0
Classico - Crushed Tomatoes, 1/2 cup	30	7	0	2	200	5
Grapefruit - 1/2 Medium (123g) , 1 cup	52	13	0	1	0	8
Onions - Frozen, chopped, cooked, boiled, drained, without salt, 0.5 cup, chopped or diced	29	7	0	1	13	3
	282	31	6	26	1,148	16
Dinner
S&W Premium - Asparagus Spears, 3/4 Cup (124g)	30	5	0	3	548	0
Generic - Orange Roughy Fish, 3 oz.	60	0	1	12	53	0
Apple - Small Red Delicious Apple, 1 Small	80	15	0	0	0	16
	170	20	1	15	601	16
Snacks
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
Kroger - Lactose Free 2% Reduce Fat Milk, 0.16 Cup	21	2	1	1	20	2
Celestial Seasonings - Black Cherry Berry Caffeine Free Herbal Tea, 1 tea bag (2g)	0	0	0	0	0	0
	21	2	1	1	20	2
Totals	473	53	8	42	1,769	34
Your Daily Goal	1,370	188	46	51	2,500	27
Remaining	897	135	38	9	731	-7
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

I didn't get a chance to post last night and I'm afraid if I don't enter something now, I'll fall even further behind. From Sunday to Monday, I had a .4lb loss. This morning, only .2lbs, putting me at 191.2lbs.  My calories were great, but I didn't drink nearly enough water. Today, I've already downed my 64 ounces and a cup of tea.  I'll have a final cup of decaf before bed (it helps hold of the munchies).  I also

Clearly says, "In Light Syrup" Ugh! Not again!

made a discovery! Hubby bought pre-peeled grapefruit for me. I had some yesterday and it was delicious. This morning's minimal loss had me a bit perplexed, so I thought about what I'd had the night before. That was the only unusual item.

The ingredients clearly list sugar. Dang it! Why didn't I see that before? I will not be eating those anymore, at least until P4. Even then, it's probably best that I just stick to natural fruit from the tree.
Here's what I had today:

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Lunch
Classico - Crushed Tomatoes, 1/2 cup	30	7	0	2	200	5
Kroger's - Kroger Kosher Dill Baby Pickles, 4 pickle	20	4	0	0	880	0
Beef - Ground, 95% lean meat / 5% fat, patty, cooked, broiled (hamburger), 1 serving ( 3 oz )	151	0	6	22	55	0
Strawberries - Raw, 1 cup, halves	49	12	0	1	2	7
	250	23	6	25	1,137	12
Dinner
Generic - Orange Roughy Fish, 3 oz.	60	0	1	12	53	0
S&W Premium - Asparagus Spears, 3/4 Cup (124g)	30	5	0	3	548	0
Grapefruit - 1/2 Medium (123g) , 1 cup	52	13	0	1	0	8
	142	18	1	16	601	8
Snacks
Celestial Seasonings - Black Cherry Berry Caffeine Free Herbal Tea, 1 tea bag (2g)	0	0	0	0	0	0
Kroger - Lactose Free 2% Reduce Fat Milk, 0.16 Cup	21	2	1	1	20	2
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
	21	2	1	1	20	2
Totals	413	43	8	42	1,758	22
Your Daily Goal	1,370	188	46	51	2,500	27
Remaining	957	145	38	9	742	5
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

As suspected, I had a bit of a gain today but the good news is that it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. What was I expecting? Maybe a pound or two but "the ultimate power" was gracious and I only saw a .2lb increase from the day before. This put me at 191.8 Sunday morning. I'm typing today because of the very full day I had, yesterday.

Hubby was supposed to work and was, in fact, gone when I woke up. I woke up a little earlier than usual and preceded to play on my tablet until time to wake up the girls. Instead, my phone rang at about 6:30am:

"Hello," he said.

"Hello," I said, in an unattractive, haven't-begun-to-talk-yet-today, gravely voice.

"Are you still sleeping?"

"No. I'm just laying in the bed. What are you doing?"

"Trying to call in. If they call, don't answer the phone, okay?"

So, hubby schemed and worked his way into a day off. By the time I was dressed and ready for church, he was home. He too, prepped to go with us. So nice! We all went together for the first time in weeks. Of course, my eldest and I had to attend to the little ones, but hubby was there and was present for the sermon, which is always good.

After church, we went to Winco (about three cities over from us) and went through some major grocery shopping. The deli man let us try some of their new wings. Of course, I had to peel all the skin off and eat the white meat, but my youngest was much obliged to eat the skin for me. They were good and I've made a mental note and a documented note here to go back and get some on P3. It wasn't the best decision to try them because shortly thereafter, I could feel my stomach turning and preparing for more food. Hubby bought roasted chicken and we were soon on our way. Two more stores later, we were home and I peeled the skin of the breast for my lunch and weighed it.

This of course is not standard protocol, as you're supposed to weigh everything pre-cooked; however, I have had increased protein before with positive results so, I wasn't too worried. For dinner, hubby dug out deep freeze crab legs that I prepared with a salad. Excellent! To explain the amorousness of the day, let's just say throughout the afternoon and evening, we caught up on loss time (hint, hint). Here's the rest of the menu for today:

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
Milk - Whole, 3.25% milkfat, 1 tbsp	9	1	0	0	6	1
	9	1	0	0	6	1
Lunch
Generic - Chicken Breast, 4oz, No Skin, Baked, Broiled, Roasted, 3 oz	140	0	3	23	63	0
Generic - Baked Asparagus, 12 spears	44	8	0	5	0	0
Grapefruit - 1/2 Medium (123g) , 1 cup	52	13	0	1	0	8
	236	21	3	29	63	8
Dinner
Lettuce - Green leaf, raw, 2 cup shredded	11	2	0	1	20	1
Maple Grove Farms of Vermont - Fat Free Raspberry Vinaigrette Dressing, 4 tablespoons	70	16	0	0	400	16
Sea Queen - King Crab Legs & Claws, 3.5 oz (100g) baked or boiled	100	0	2	19	106	0
	181	18	2	20	526	17
Snacks
Celestial Seasonings - Black Cherry Berry Caffeine Free Herbal Tea, 1 tea bag (2g)	0	0	0	0	0	0
	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals	426	40	5	49	595	26
Your Daily Goal	1,370	188	46	51	2,500	27
Remaining	944	148	41	2	1,905	1
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

It was a slow start to the day. I didn't sleep in but, rather, woke up and got on the computer to shop. No big thing, I still took my injection at the same time I always do. The good news is that I was down .4lbs, weighing in at 191.6 this morning. Instead of my normal coffee breakfast, I decided to have a Celestial Seasonings Ice Tea/Lemonade K-cup. Oh, shoot! Why did I do that? I forgot they were pre-sweetened and got through most of it before realizing the sweet taste wasn't my Stevia. I'm suspecting that my weight will be up tomorrow. Initially, I kind of beat myself up about it. Then, I resolved that if I did create a setback, it's only a small one.

I tried to recoup by not having any of my fruit today, in hopes that the increased refined sugar would cancel out the natural sugar I normally have. It's a bummer, but I'll continue to move forward. I kept my calories on the lighter side as well, not purposefully, but simply because I really wasn't that hunger. A far cry from yesterday. Here's what I had:

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Lunch
Celestial Seasonings Lemonade Iced Tea K-Cup - Lemonade-Iced Tea, 8 oz	70	17	0	0	0	16
S&W Premium - Asparagus Spears, 3/4 Cup (124g)	30	5	0	3	548	0
Generic - Orange Roughy Fish, 3 oz.	65	0	1	14	61	0
Hikari Miso - Miso Soup With Seaweed and Tofu, 1/2 cup	32	3	1	1	355	2
	197	25	2	18	964	18
Dinner
Generic - Fresh Cocktail Shrimp , 6 medium shrimp	30	0	0	6	41	0
Lettuce - Green leaf, raw, 2 cup shredded	11	2	0	1	20	1
Maple Grove Farms of Vermont - Fat Free Raspberry Vinaigrette Dressing, 4 tablespoons	70	16	0	0	400	16
	111	18	0	7	461	17
Snacks
Celestial Seasonings - Black Cherry Berry Caffeine Free Herbal Tea, 1 tea bag (2g)	0	0	0	0	0	0
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
Kroger - Lactose Free 2% Reduce Fat Milk, 0.16 Cup	21	2	1	1	20	2
	21	2	1	1	20	2
Totals	329	45	3	26	1,445	37
Your Daily Goal	1,370	188	46	51	2,500	27
Remaining	1,041	143	43	25	1,055	-10
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

It was a particularly difficult day today, in terms of cravings. I'm not sure why they were so gosh dang gnawing today but I staved them off by drinking lots and lots of water. I plan to have a nice cup of tea, after I finish my bottle of lemon-tinged Evian, before bed.

First, it started with the doughnuts I brought in for my coworkers this morning. The chief was complaining of needing snacks yesterday, and I had thought to bring something in but changed my mind. Today, I stopped and purchased a dozen variety for the crew. Then, I get there and the firefighters are making a divine
breakfast. The smells were wonderful and intoxicating. At first, I was fine with just the smells, then I really started wanting the eggs, bacon and hash browns they made. The longer the pastries sat next to me, the more I could smell them and the more I wanted them. Not good.

Contains non-protocol sugar and oil. Bummer!

When I got home, we went to the movies to see Iron Man 3 and, of course, I was hit by the wall of freshly made popcorn in the theater lobby. Ouch! I wanted some drowned in tons of butter. The movie was phenomenal and I was happy to go, but all the while I could smell the popcorn. After the movie, we went to several stores and I was bombarded with all the treats and lovely things to eat that I cannot have. Hubby made a point of telling me that this would be my last round and that I would just stick to healthy eating afterwards. I wasn't even whining about the food I couldn't have but alerting him to the items he could not purchase for me (like Sylvia's Greens, which are filled with all non-protocol
items).

Anyway, I think it's frustrating for him that I have so little to choose from right now. The good news is that it doesn't last forever.We're already talking about going out on a protein fest dinner together during P3, where we can have as much meat and cheese as we like. I truly hope by then that, as much as I like, isn't going to be much at all.

I had no loss at all today, so I'm still sitting at 192lbs:

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Milk - Whole, 3.25% milkfat, 1 tbsp	9	1	0	0	6	1
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
	9	1	0	0	6	1
Lunch
Beef - Ground, 95% lean meat / 5% fat, patty, cooked, broiled (hamburger), 1 serving ( 3 oz )	151	0	6	22	55	0
Grapefruit - 1/2 Medium (123g) , 1 cup	52	13	0	1	0	8
Tomato - Tomato Slice, 3.5 slice	35	7	0	0	0	4
Kroger's - Kroger Kosher Dill Baby Pickles, 4 pickle	20	4	0	0	880	0
Onions - Frozen, chopped, cooked, boiled, drained, without salt, 0.5 cup, chopped or diced	29	7	0	1	13	3
	287	31	6	24	948	15
Dinner
Gala - Red Apple (Medium), 1 Apple	71	19	0	0	1	14
Chicken Breast - Grilled, Boneless, Skinless, 3 oz.	90	0	1	18	0	0
Lettuce - Green leaf, raw, 2 cup shredded	11	2	0	1	20	1
Maple Grove Farms of Vermont - Fat Free Raspberry Vinaigrette Dressing, 4 tablespoons	70	16	0	0	400	16
	242	37	1	19	421	31
Snacks
Totals	538	69	7	43	1,375	47
Your Daily Goal	1,370	188	46	51	2,500	27
Remaining	832	119	39	8	1,125	-20
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

My daughters went swimming with the neighbor girl upstairs this afternoon.  When I got home, I ate my lunch, then went down to the pool to join them. I didn't swim today but boy, it was sure hot enough to jump in. Instead, I sat and talked with the little girl's mother.

She's a very loud, assertive woman from Corpus Christi. She's also a military brat and married to a military man. She seems nice enough, but I've heard she and her husband in the middle of screaming matches quite often. I think she's in the midst of menopause (she had her daughter very late in life) and her husband has hinted this to me often. I don't think that she'd be a person I'd hang out with often, for fear I'd ensue her hormonal wrath myself.

I weighed in at 192 pounds, giving me a loss of one pound this morning. The process is still going fairly well and I don't notice the hunger pains anymore. I do see certain foods and think, "Now, that would taste good," but I'm not going to thwart all of my good efforts for a little temptation. I just keep thinking about my trip in September and how much fun it will be and how much happier I'll be if I can put on a bathing suit without suffocating. Not only that, I know my blood pressure will go down and my joints will feel worlds better. No one my height should ever be at this weight and I'm going to do my best to see that I do my best to stay in shape.

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
Milk - Whole, 3.25% milkfat, 1 tbsp	9	1	0	0	6	1
	9	1	0	0	6	1
Lunch
Grapefruit - 1/2 Medium (123g) , 1 cup	52	13	0	1	0	8
Beef - Ground, 95% lean meat / 5% fat, patty, cooked, broiled (hamburger), 1 serving ( 3 oz )	151	0	6	22	55	0
Frenchs* - 100% Natural Yellow Mustard, 1 tsp - 5 Grams	0	0	0	0	55	0
S&W Premium - Asparagus Spears, 3/4 Cup (124g)	30	5	0	3	548	0
	233	18	6	26	658	8
Dinner
Generic - Orange Roughy Fish, 3 oz.	60	0	1	12	53	0
Classico - Crushed Tomatoes, 1 cup	60	14	0	4	400	10
Gala - Red Apple (Medium), 1 Apple	71	19	0	0	1	14
	191	33	1	16	454	24
Snacks
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals	433	52	7	42	1,118	33
Your Daily Goal	1,370	188	46	51	2,500	27
Remaining	937	136	39	9	1,382	-6
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

Today is Pioneer Day in Utah, so I got to sleep in. It was lovely! When I did awaken, I played on my iPad for a bit, then I made breakfast for my girls. After that, we spent a couple of hours cleaning the apartment. It's spic and span with the fresh scent of Pine.

My eldest is still struggling with her illness, but appears to be on the mend. I had pictures printed for her and other family members today. Now, she has a lovely photo of her cheer team displayed on her chest-of-drawers. I also have several to mail to my father and best friend.

Not much to report, otherwise. I made homemade pizza for my girls. It smelled divine! My girls said that it was very good (my youngest exclaimed, "It's so cheesy!"). I didn't have a huge loss today, but at least there was one. I weighed in at 193 lbs this morning, giving me a lost of .4 pound. Here's what I had today:

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Lunch
Celestial Seasonings - Black Cherry Berry Caffeine Free Herbal Tea, 1 tea bag (2g)	0	0	0	0	0	0
Kroger's - Kroger Kosher Dill Baby Pickles, 4 pickle	20	4	0	0	880	0
Beef - Stew Meat, 3 oz. cooked	158	0	9	17	49	0
Tomato - Tomato Slice, 3.5 slice	35	7	0	0	0	4
Grapefruit - 1/2 Medium (123g) , 1 cup	52	13	0	1	0	8
	265	24	9	18	929	12
Dinner
Home Made - Steamed Green Cabbage, 1 cup (75g)	34	8	0	2	856	4
Lactaid Fat Free Milk - Lactose Free Skim Milk, 0.16 cup	14	2	0	1	20	2
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
Generic - Fresh Cocktail Shrimp , 6 medium shrimp	30	0	0	6	41	0
	78	10	0	9	917	6
Snacks
Celestial Seasonings - Black Cherry Berry Caffeine Free Herbal Tea, 1 tea bag (2g)	0	0	0	0	0	0
	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals	343	34	9	27	1,846	18
Your Daily Goal	1,370	188	46	51	2,500	27
Remaining	1,027	154	37	24	654	9
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

"It's unfortunate (that) what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the
eye is seldom the same." Fabienne - Pulp Fiction

Re-watching this movie was a lot of fun, but also enlightening. This quote really stood out for me, especially with what I'm currently experiencing. My previous rounds took me down to a size 6, sometimes four. I felt like a waif with no curves. Sometimes, it almost felt like I would crumble. It was just too small for me (at least in my opinion). My hip bones jutted out and my breasts were almost non existent. This quote really applied to me back then; just because I looked really good, didn't mean that I felt good (inside or outside). My hubby would probably never say it, but I'm sure he missed my curves too. I can only imagine what it felt like to touch the me before compared to the me after.

This is why my focus is more releasing what's comfortable for me, not necessarily what the textbooks say I ought to be. Of course, most of us know those standards are ridiculous. They don't take into account frame, build, heritage or even ethnicity. An Asian woman my height is definitely going to look and carry weight a lot differently than I will, for example.

I'm not sure if it's noticeable to others yet, but I feel a difference. My hope is that the visual will catch up soon. My boss, not knowing all the details of what I'm doing, says he wants to be a cheerleader for my efforts. I appreciate that. The cheering is definitely helping from hubby's side. Each day he asks what results I've obtained. I check in with him as well, even though I know he's a bit frustrated. I can see his definition more clearly and I know he's working hard.

I weighed in at 193.4lbs this morning, giving me a lost of 1 pound. Here's what I had today:

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
	0	0	0	0	0	0
Lunch
Tomato - Tomato Slice, 3.5 slice	35	7	0	0	0	4
Beef - Stew Meat, 3 oz. cooked	158	0	9	17	49	0
Kroger's - Kroger Kosher Dill Baby Pickles, 4 pickle	20	4	0	0	880	0
Celestial Seasonings - Black Cherry Berry Caffeine Free Herbal Tea, 1 tea bag (2g)	0	0	0	0	0	0
	213	11	9	17	929	4
Dinner
S&W Premium - Asparagus Spears, 3/4 Cup (124g)	30	5	0	3	548	0
Generic - Orange Roughy Fish, 3 oz.	60	0	1	12	53	0
Strawberries - Raw, 1 cup, halves	49	12	0	1	2	7
	139	17	1	16	603	7
Snacks
Grapefruit - 1/2 Medium (123g) , 1 cup	52	13	0	1	0	8
Kroger - Lactose Free 2% Reduce Fat Milk, 0.16 Cup	21	2	1	1	20	2
Private Selection - Colombian decaffeinated coffee, 1 tablespoon	0	0	0	0	0	0
	73	15	1	2	20	10
Totals	425	43	11	35	1,552	21
Your Daily Goal	1,370	188	46	51	2,500	27
Remaining	945	145	35	16	948	6
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar