The Nightmare

Last night, or rather this morning, I awoke at 2:30ish to cold sweats and tears. I had emerged from the mother of all nightmares. You know, as a child, nightmares are frightening and you are soothed by crawling into mom and dad's bed (or at least I was). When that wore thin for them, I settled for dragging my sleeping back into their room, then placing it at the foot of their bed. I think for me it was just being in their general vicinity that made everything all better. But, what happens when you become an adult? Thankfully, hubby awakened to my panic and immediately soothed my fears.

My dream involved me and my hubby. We were sitting in his truck during a torrential rain storm. We were obviously not in Utah (that kind of rain doesn't exist here). I also didn't feel like we were in Utah...somewhere northwest, maybe (even though I've never visited the northwest). Anyway, I had been traveling to see someone. I had returned after about a three or four day weekend. I probed my hubby to tell me about a female "acquaintance" we have in common (I think it was someone's wife that he works with). I asked him if he had been with her, over the course of my trip and he answered yes.....six times. Six times? I wanted to rage and scream. I wanted to break something, but all I could do was sit there. I was completely numb without the ability, even to speak (and that's really saying something). The dream goes on and gets a little weird, after that, but it left me really shaken. Hubby and I ended up talking for the next half hour about insecurities and fears. Obviously, this came from somewhere. It could have been the fact that I was watching the E! True Hollywood story about Laci Peterson or it could have been the fact that we were discussing to of his co-workers and their sexual exploits, just before retiring to bed. Who the heck knows. All I know is that I'm about to fall over at my desk.

I still managed a workout during lunch, but of course there was no way I was getting up at 4 to workout (not after the morning I had). We have to go grocery shopping tonight and, I gotta tell you, I may just fall asleep on the bread aisle (I chose bread because, if it's still pretty fresh, it should be nice and soft).

Crazy me decided to step on the scale this morning. It was not kind. I think TOM is on the way, but I can't ever be sure these days. I was active all weekend, so I'm not sure why the scale wasn't kinder. (I did my weight training, my 30 minute cardio and painted two walls within the spare bedroom on Saturday. Sunday, we went swimming).

Man, I'm sleepy. Two more hours...just two more hours....