Restless Night

I didn't sleep well at all last night. I went to bed around 9:45 (I was watching the tape I made of Their Eyes Were Watching God and stopped at a commercial, when hubby was ready to sleep). He was gone in about 5 minutes while I tossed and turned for nearly an hour. I had some things on my mind, but I didn't realize that they were weighing so heavy.

Recently, one of our employees moved on to another job. Another employee followed suit a day later. They both went to the same location, but will be working in different capacities. Anyway, the lady who left was sort of the town crier around here...a loud person with a lot of opinions. She was also a hidden racist who spread all sorts of nasty rumors about the people of color employed here. Anyway, before she left, she made sure to leave her "legacy" behind...also leaving lots of animosity behind for the remaining people to struggle with. I was made privy to all these rumors when my girlfriend stayed the weekend. It doesn't effect me directly, but it still effects me (if that makes sense).

There are others, now, carrying on that legacy of suspicion, deception and hatred making it very hard for those who are of color and still have to work here. It's not for me to bring this up to HR because it's all hearsay for me. I haven't heard any of this directly. I wish my friend would say something to HR, because those spreading these horrible rumors would really be in for it (or at least, I hope they would. No one should have to endure this sort of treatment). Oh, man. What to do!

Aside from that, I was thinking about another lady here who has never liked me. Not that everyone has to like me, but she has always regarded me coolly and made sure to stare me down at every opportunity. When we are in a group setting, she makes out like we just work together all the time. What the hell is that about, I ask you? Several people have told me that she's very kind and giving (she used to be a school teacher turned IBM exec), while others have said that there's a wall you have to get past before you see the kindness. I believe we've been working together 2 years, and she still treats me the same way. It's just odd to me. There are people here that I work less with who treat me better. {Yeah, I'd say it was time to go. Too much drama here, even with the possibility of working from home. I'm still debating over all of it.}

Today is my Wednesday, so I'm glad about that. The weekend can't get here fast enough. You know, with all the restlessness I felt, I wasn't motivated enough to walk on the treadmill. I thought about it, but decided (despite not being able to fall asleep) I was just too tired. I weighed this morning, just for the heck of it, and I'm up the two pounds I lost. TOM is on the way so, I'm guessing it's water? I don't know. It could be the tamale pie I had Saturday night. It takes a couple of days for me to see food splurges.

I'm trying to be optimistic about the day, but with the lack of energy, I'm kind of moving into an "I don't care" mode. We'll see how it goes.