Damn that scale! I missed weigh in on Tuesday and decided to get on this morning. Of course, it wasn't the first thing and I'd already worked-out and showered. It screamed 190, even after all the good stuff I've been doing. I did have a cocktail last night before bed (courtesy of hubby), but I'd stayed within my calorie range all day yesterday and the day before.

There are two culprits I need to get a handle on; first, the salt is really out of control. I think I'm PMS feening for it. I gotta stop that. Eating out and staying within my calorie range is all well and good, but if my salt intake is out of control, it only serves to deter my progress. Secondly, my water. How can I expect to loose these confounded pounds if I'm not drinking enough fluids? Now, with the possibility of having my eye surgery, I've really got to get into the habit of drinking lots and lots of water. I'm on my third, 20oz bottle of water. If I can drink four of these puppies a day, I'd consider myself doing well. Even more is better, that is until I begin to drop some weight. Will that happen?

Despite the marathon weekend, I did better than I've done in the past (but not great). Friday night, it was dinner at a friend's house. We had grilled steaks, baja beans with steamed rice (my contribution), tossed spinach salad and strawberry shortcake for dessert. It was lovely. I didn't over do any of the foods, but I did have three cocktails (ouch!). Saturday, I had a bowl of oatmeal before leaving out to take my daughter to her competition location (4o miles away). I had my water, but didn't drink as much of it as I should have.

For lunch, I had steamed rice, mandarin chicken and potato chicken from Chinese Gourmet, while the rest of the family had Wendy's. See? I'm getting better. For dinner, we had Papa Murphy's Delite pizza (their new Mediterranean style) and boneless buffalo wings. Sunday, I went to breakfast with mom and only ate my eggs, one slice of bacon and toast. I didn't inhale my hash browns like usual (my downfall, typically).

Yesterday, I had a protein bar for breakfast (along with my water), Chinese for lunch (I was conservative at the buffet) and a Lean Cuisine meal for dinner. Truly, I'm doing better...even if the weight isn't changing much. Oh! Today is weigh day, but I didn't way (due to all the salt, yesterday). I will weigh tomorrow. I'm trying to flush out the salt if I can.

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Boca Savory Mushroom Mozzarella Veggie Patties	1.00	100	2g	0mg	330mg	10g	0g	4g	13g
Kroger Instant Oatmeal - Maple & Brown Sugar	1.00	160	2g	0mg	140mg	32g	14g	3g	4g
Planters Daybreak Blend Apple Cinnamon Trail Mix	0.75	150	8g	0mg	56mg	20g	10g	2g	3g
Rice-a-Roni Rice-a-roni Chicken, Less Fat	1.00	260	4g	0mg	1,070mg	51g	2g	2g	7g
George Foreman's Lean Mean Grillers Southern Style Chicken Breasts	1.00	119	2g	0mg	0mg	3g	1g	0g	23g
Green Beans Canned	1.00	20	0g	0mg	400mg	4g	2g	1g	1g
Lean Cuisine Spaghetti With Meatballs In A Hearty Tomato Sauce	1.00	270	5g	25mg	560mg	38g	6g	5g	18g
Michelina's Lean Gourmet Buffalo Style Chicken Snacks	1.00	190	7g	10mg	480mg	23g	2g	1g	10g
Totals:		1,269	29g	35mg	3,037mg	181g	37g	18g	79g

I'm up because I feel like I'm doing really well on my plan thus far. I'm down because hubby and I are having a hard go again. It's more to do with extended family than with me, I think (hope). His sister is having a lot of trouble and requested our assistance (I'll explain more on the other blog) but he had to decline the help, primarily because we just can't do it. Now, they are on the outs and it's likely they will not regain the closeness they recently began to share. He's upset, unhappy and confused. Then, he nearly bit my head off the other day. We haven't said much to each other since. I tried calling him this morning, but to no avail. Oh, well. I'm a bit preoccupied, so that will help alleviate that stress.

Here are the stats from yesterday:

April 22nd, 2009

Calorie goal: 1,352; calories consumed: 1,199; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 1,199
(I did workout yesterday, Hooked on Aerobics, but I don't know what the exact calorie burn was).

The table I normally paste will not paste clearly in here today. Not sure what's up with blogger. So here's what I ate in basics:

Oatmeal and Canadian bacon for breakfast, a Smart Ones Fruit Inspiration - Cranberry Turkey Medallions for lunch and Rice-a-Roni (Less fat recipe), Bruce's yams and grilled chicken for dinner.

I worked out on the elliptical this morning for about 25 minutes (I wanted to get up to a 300 calorie burn, at lest, this workout). I hope to take the youngest to the park today, while her sister is at gymnastics. I can't walk the track, but playing with her should be good exercise, too.

*Update*

Here's the table. I had the settings backwards while I was typing. Ugh!

April 22nd, 2009

Calorie goal: 1,352; calories consumed: 1,199; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 1,199

Write in your diary: How do you feel today?

Mood:	- choose - Hungry Full Guilty Tempted Motivated Frustrated Content Okay Tired Hyper Excited Relieved Hungover Stressed Anxious Happy Pleased Sad Sick Healthy Good Proud
Notes:	Today, I feel...
Allow others to see my diary

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Kroger Instant Oatmeal - Maple & Brown Sugar	2.00	320	4g	0mg	280mg	64g	28g	6g	8g
Kroger Sliced Canadian Bacon	1.00	60	2g	20mg	700mg	2g	2g	0g	11g
Weight Watchers Smart Ones Fruit Inspirations - Cranberry Turkey Medallions	1.00	250	2g	30mg	460mg	43g	19g	4g	16g
Rice-a-Roni Rice-a-roni Chicken, Less Fat	1.00	260	4g	0mg	1,070mg	51g	2g	2g	7g
Bruce's Yams In Syrup	1.00	190	0g	0mg	55mg	45g	21g	3g	1g
George Foreman's Lean Mean Grillers Southern Style Chicken Breasts	1.00	119	2g	0mg	0mg	3g	1g	0g	23g
Totals:		1,199	13g	50mg	2,565mg	208g	73g	15g	66g

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I love this quote! I've used it here before and here it is again:

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them-- every day begin the task anew. -Francis de Sales

I need to put this on my refrigerator or something. It's an incredibly loaded quote for so many aspects of life. I'll try to remember to find space on my cluttered refrigerator door.

I did well, yesterday. Here are the stats:

April 21st, 2009

Calorie goal: 1,352; calories consumed: 1,480; calories burned: 300
Net calories: 1,180

[edit this diary entry]

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Quaker Instant Buttered Grits	1.00	100	2g	0mg	340mg	21g	0g	1g	2g
Lean Cuisine Brick Oven Style - Gourmet Mushroom Pizza	1.00	280	7g	5mg	660mg	40g	4g	2g	15g
Sunkist Almonds Gourmet Oven Roasted	1.00	170	15g	0mg	95mg	5g	1g	3g	6g
Fiber One Honey Clusters Cereal	2.00	320	3g	0mg	560mg	84g	12g	26g	10g
SeaPak Tempura Shrimp	1.50	360	12g	68mg	855mg	53g	20g	11g	14g
Pictsweet Deluxe Steamers Asian Vegetables	1.00	30	0g	0mg	30mg	5g	3g	2g	1g
Betty Crocker Gourmet Twice Baked Potatoes	1.00	220	7g	25mg	450mg	34g	2g	6g	5g
Fitness	Minutes	Calories Burned
Other (Manual)	20.0	-300.0
Totals:		1,180	46g	98mg	2,990mg	242g	42g	51g	53g

Although my calorie intake was really around 1400, that's tons lower than it has been. I hope to stay around 1400 as a high, 1200 as a low. That seems to work for me, in terms of weight loss. I was calculating how much I was losing last time around and it was around five pounds every 22 days. That's a pattern I want to change. I will post my workout plans here, so that I remain consistent (a problem with me) and keep up with my food. I hate doing the later, but that's the only thing that works.

So, here's what I've done so far this week and what my plans are for the remainder of the week:

Monday - Elliptical Trainer (Program 3 = 20 minutes with limited added resistance)
Tuesday - Hooked on Aerobics (approximately 22 minutes of high intensity aerobics with a five minute cool down)
Wednesday - Elliptical Trainer (Program 3)
Thursday - Hooked on Aerobics
Friday - Elliptical trainer (Program 3)

If I incorporate more cardio during the week, that will only serve to better my situation. I feel the same about added weight training (which I plan to incorporate next week). I will, however, make sure I have my rest days. I'm not crazy. I know what can happen if you over train. (oh, and I took a peek at the scale, against my better judgment - 187.8 but it would have been better, if I hadn't overdone it on the salt front.

After a long break, the scale and I are starting to see each other again. It had some harsh words (and numbers) for me. It was bitter and so am I. Together, we're going to come to an understanding and figure out how to live with each other again. I think it's worth it for both of us to try and I believe we can have a happy, healthy relationship. Ready for the scary? A whopping 189 this morning. I could make all kinds of excuses (the long weekend in St. George, the winter binges, the stress eating over the past two months) and I don't really feel it's wasted breath. I feel this is how I can identify the issues and work to overcome them in the future.

So I begin again. It's always up and down for me (usually within the same twenty pounds). That is something I would love to overcome, if I can. I want to be able to get it off and keep it off (permanently). I also know that is the most difficult challenge; maintenance. I think I need to look at it in terms of something I do in everyday life...like keeping the glass coffee table clean or washing my car every other week. If it appears doable, then I should be able to do it.

Goals? Of course! There are always goals. I want to be in my two-piece by the time we go on vacation in June of this year. Not just in it, but looking taut and tone. I do have realistic expectations. I'm not expecting to be 100 pounds or waif thin (I will never be a waif), but I do expect to have the rocking arms, muscular legs and minimal pouch I had just months ago.

I will find different ways to handle the stress. I must admit, I am frightened to think of how bad it would have been if I hadn't kept up with some sort of exercise regime. The elliptical never went away (thank God). But, I will increase everything and incorporate my weight training, which does wonders for my physique. The eating (as hubby always says) is major! It's 80% of the process and, while he's putting on weight, I can't join him anymore.

Goodbye high sugar treats everyday. We will only meet on occasion, now. Good bye every carb I can get my hands on. It's low-glycemic items for me, again. I shall now turn to the protein friends who give me so much more; chicken and fish? I'm ready to party.