I think so, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I weighed in at 188.8 this morning, after my workout. I was on the elliptical for thirty minutes and burned 418 calories. I then performed three sets of 15 bicep curls and tricep kick-backs just after the cardio (3lb weights). Can't hurt, right? The calorie count is way down (good) and the energy level is way up (good, too).

I'm thinking of adding Chromium to my homemade concoction to alleviate the cravings. Despite appetite control, I still want to kill this sugar tooth once and for all. Part of it, I know, is TOM ready to take over. I don't know if Chromium can fight with that, but it's worth a shot. Here are my stats from Saturday and Sunday:

June 28th, 2009 (Sunday)

Calorie goal: 1,355; calories consumed: 1,380; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 1,380

Mood: Motivated

Gave into my cravings. What gives? Not much appetite, but still craving stuff. TOM is on the way/weigh for sure. Didn't work out (it's Sunday), but I did weigh in at 189.4 and am hopeful. I know weighing everyday isn't wise, but I just can't help myself! [edit this diary entry]

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Steamed White Rice	1.00	90	0g	0mg	0mg	20g	0g	0g	2g
Hibachi House General Tso's Chicken	1.00	844	40g	15mg	2,157mg	61g	0g	2g	56g
Homemade French Toast	1.00	356	19g	244mg	443mg	32g	6g	5g	12g
Corn King Thick Sliced Bacon (2 Slices)	1.00	90	7g	15mg	270mg	0g	0g	0g	5g
Totals:		1,380	66g	274mg	2,870mg	113g	6g	7g	75g

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June 27th, 2009 (Saturday)

Calorie goal: 1,376; calories consumed: 1,479; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 1,479

Mood: Hyper

On a new homemade supplement that I took at 7:15am and 11:40am. I will move the second dose to around 1:00pm or 2:00pm, tomorrow since I'm feeling the effects of the second dose wearing off right now(it's about 6:00pm). I haven't had much to eat, so I know it's working. I will have to make sure to meet my minimums, though.

Hubby wants steak for dinner (broiling now), but I'm craving Chinese. TOM is on it's way.

It should be noted that I put back on every pound I lost before the vacation. This is why I'm on the supplement and why I hope I'll never hit today's weight again. Monstrous! [edit this diary entry]

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Fiber One Oats And Chocolate Bar	1.00	140	4g	0mg	90mg	29g	10g	9g	2g
Slimfast Optima Chocolate Peanut Nougat Snack Bar	1.00	120	4g	5mg	70mg	20g	9g	1g	2g
Eat Smart Broccoli Slaw	1.00	25	0g	0mg	25mg	5g	2g	2g	2g
Kraft Light Raspberry Vinagrette	1.00	60	4g	0mg	270mg	5g	5g	0g	0g
Hibachi House General Tso's Chicken	1.00	844	40g	15mg	2,157mg	61g	0g	2g	56g
Steamed White Rice	1.00	90	0g	0mg	0mg	20g	0g	0g	2g
Chinese Food Take Out Egg Roll	1.00	200	2g	0mg	400mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Totals:		1,479	54g	20mg	3,012mg	140g	26g	14g	64g

So, the eating is loads better (not eating like my hubby anymore). The workouts will be kicking in hard and fierce tomorrow. I came up with one goal this morning, to keep me motivated, but coming up with others is proving a bit tricky. I thought of clothes and shoes, but I have loads I've never worn before (many with their tags still attached). Movies are so easy to come by for us, now, that I don't even see that as a worthy goal. My hair is colored my eyes are fixed. What to do?

Well, these may seem small, but they'll help along the way to a more glamorous me.

Goal 1 (15 pound loss [178]) - Wear my super glam lashes regularly (I bought new ones a while back that are gorgeous! I figure, a smaller me would look better in them. Goal made! Thursday, August 27th. Weighed in at 178.6 pounds.

Goal 2 (20 pound loss [172]) - Wear one of my new outfits purchased during vacation

Goal 3 (25 pound loss [167]) - Take my new 4" sandals hubby bought for me for a stroll (albeit, a short stroll...don't want to trip, fall or worse)

Goal 4 (30 pound loss [162]) - Wear a new outfit from last Florida vacation (namely, my floor-length coral dress)

Goal 5 (35 pound loss [157, if I'm lucky]) - Take full-length pictures without
shying away from the camera

I'm 189.4 today, by the way.

Vacation is over and I put on most of the weight I took off; however, I am encouraged by some interesting information I discovered. I can't go into all the details because I'm not a doctor and I don't want to steer anyone in the wrong direction. I will say this; it begins today. I am supplemented by a homemade option that I know is going to make a huge difference. I will use this option for several weeks, and then cycle off. I will continue to track my food on The Daily Plate for myself and for anyone else who cares about what I'm eating (I have a huge feeling that it won't be much). My body can't hold this weight anymore, so I'm taking drastic action. It is necessary. My internal and external struggles are at an impasse and this is just what I have to do.

For myself, I am 192 pounds today and that is the last time I hope to ever type that number here (granted, it is 2 pounds from where I initially started but, damn! No more).

I started thinking about the departed Anna Nicole the other day and how she must have felt when she looked in the mirror, after he weight gain. You feel the skinny girl inside, but when you look in the mirror, there is something so morphed and wrong you just can't face the reflection.



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I am not naive. I realize that weight loss doesn't make problems disappear and it won't make my life perfect. What it will do is change my perspective of myself. It will allow me to do more with my family and it will allow me to uncover bright things about myself that I have long buried. I am anxious to begin this journey. It seems strange to start on a Saturday, but why the heck not! You know, I was born on a Saturday? Saturday's child works hard for a living. I will work hard and get this blasted weight off once and for all.

I'll post goals soon. Motivation is important to keep my momentum going and I certainly can't lose that...I won't.

Well, great advice, if I could just follow it. While recuperating from surgery, I have been doing just that. TOM being on the way hasn't helped matters. I haven't dared step on the scale, for fear I am back where I started. And I worked so hard to get it off, dammit! It just frost my cookies. Oh. Bad point of reference. Frosted cookies....

I couldn't keep up with my journal entries, since I couldn't see to type them. Today, I've entered my information and will continue to keep up with this practice. It seems to help me immensely. We have thunderstorms slated for most afternoons this week. I had wanted to jog this morning (yes, jog), but my alarm clock was so soft, I didn't even hear it. Great. I also started work late, which meant no elliptical this morning either. Talk about jumping back in with both feet! I don't even have a toe in, yet.

So, tomorrow I'll put in today's journal entry. Hopefully, I'll have done what I need to do to keep moving in the right direction. I'm still hopeful, but feeling a little guilty and down on myself.

By the way, hubby purchased the Power 90X (Beach Body). I am a fan of the Beach Body Turbo Jam, which I haven't done in a bit, but really like. I hear that this is a great program, but that it can get a little boring. I don't know if he's using it as a resource, if he bought it for himself to try, or if he got it for me on the sly. Either way, I'll check it out.