Ease on Down

Well, with all my personal troubles, I haven't had much of an appetite (see New Dawn site). I'm not advocating this way of "dieting" or "eating right" because it really isn't "eating right"; however, the scale was kind this morning at 160.5 and I'm certainly not complaining. As it stands, I'm officially smaller than I was in June of 2004 (my smallest since starting this blog in 2003). It's truly a milestone! The last time I was this close to being in the 150s, I had just gotten married.

Now, I'm getting nostalgic and feeling sad. Ten years ago, I was probably this weight and ten years ago, the only place my hubby wanted to be was near me. Currently, he's in a race to get clear so that we can "think" and "work things out". I'm just so afraid of what this will lead to! In the meantime, I can't think straight and I'm not eating properly, so I'm hitting these awesome numbers that, yeah I'm sort of happy about, but I'd much rather have my hubby. The wild thing is that he's been going on and on for the past few days about how much he loves me and wants everything to work out. I want the same things, but I want him here, too. Sleeping alone has been incredibly difficult for me and I feel sort of weak saying this.

Meanwhile, (and on a happier note) I'm sort of hard, I guess is the best word to describe it. I went to scratch my upper thigh the other day and it felt like rock or a rod had been inserted into my leg. It was sort of weird and unsettling at first. I asked my hubby what it could be (this was a few days ago when we were still playing "house" and all was well) and he said, "Uh, that's muscle honey." Yeah, well I guess I already knew that but just needed some sort of confirmation of the fact. It was weird and still is. I'll grab my legs to walk up the steps and, wow! Steel! I just can't see the definition like I'd like to or maybe it's there and I'm having body issues. Who knows.

For the first time in nearly a year, I changed my imood display. I have a feeling it will be "sad and pitiful" for a while.