The Ultimate Plan

I've been scheming these past few days on a fourth round. The "sugar demon" (as I'm now calling it) has been ultra crafty. I'm fine, but then my carb-addiction raises its head. I have to limit them (carbs) much more than most people. I understand this, now. Regular eating for me is not regular eating for someone else. Clean is also huge for me, but difficult. I just love food and it's hard for me to say, "Stop." So, here's the plan:

Step A: Fourth Round - I will begin a fourth round on April 28th or 29th. I wanted to start Easter Sunday (April 25th), but my TOM is due then. That's going to make me look extra fabulous in my sleeveless Easter dress. Ugh! It would have been lovely to have Easter as a gorge day; however, maybe it's fitting that it doesn't happen then. After all, gluttony is a sin, right? Okay, I know this isn't really the same thing. The fourth round will be a short round. When I was in the 140s, I was way too small. I am an African-American woman with curves and my curves were all gone. I liked being small, but didn't like looking emaciated. For me? One hundred fifty-five pounds to one hundred sixty is fine for me. Again, what's right for me may not be right for everyone else.

Step B: Hubby's Support Plan -My family and I are due to go on vacation in mid to late June. This will place me in the early parts of my "regular eating" (P4), which is good timing. I want to be able to enjoy fun foods, but I will be working hard at not succumbing to my addiction (or bowing to the sugar-demon). I'm not unrealistic and know that a five pound gain is inevitable. I always gain five pounds on vacation no matter the circumstances. I've asked my hubby to put me on a plan directly after vacation. He is to have free reign with my eating but I have a major say in discussions with him about exercise, since my schedule is so irregular. This is to make sure I lose the vacation weight, but also put me on a path/good direction that I can handle long term.

Step C: Nan Kuru Nai Sah - "Live for today, but look forward to tomorrow". It's been my theme for the year (I don't do resolutions, but themes...feel free to ask about previous years. I love to share them!). With my hubby's help, I will find a "normalcy" that works for me, but allows me to have the ability to enjoy food without being afraid of it. What a little sugar can do for me is a lot of damage, but how to take those slip-ups and move on has proven difficult. I've got to get past it and understand that food is not my enemy. It is here to nourish and fuel my body. Changing my thinking is such a big part of this process. I know this and figured it out early with the protocol but somewhere, I've let those daily discussions with myself slide away. I will keep my posts current since writing about the struggles makes a big difference.

So, there it is in black and white. I'm looking forward to it and have already alerted my children to keep the tempations far away. They are very helpful and it's important that they be involved, too. Oh, and I'm going "Hard Core" again. The "rogue" stuff I pulled in round three was detrimental.