If you're going to put forth the effort to hope and dream, hope and dream BIG.

That's why I'm not logging like a fiend anymore. Halloween sort of screwed up everything (although I'm not making love to the chocolate like I was before). I'm still working out, despite everything, and have started doing my firm videos again. Ego more than anything has kept me working out. Not sure if it's helping, with all the damage I'm doing. I will be back! Can't say when, but I will!

Back to the grind and back to trying to get this weight off (and the however many pounds I've put on in the past two weeks). Anyway, the candy alone that's in this house was a sin among sins. I will be taking it to work, less my family use it as a way of preserving ourselves for the winter. I'm off to a decent start. If I can get in an additional workout each day for the next two weeks, I think I can accomplish much:

Breakfast - Fiber one cereal raisin clusters and celesital seasonings white pear

We have been eating out so much the past few days. Plus, there have been parties, cakes, candies, drinks...it's been really hard. The upside is that I have persisted in my workouts. Whether they be 30 minute quickies or 50 minute longies (is that a word? Blogger says no). I think I would be as big as a horse now if I hadn't. Please be patient and I will resume. I have to! I can't buy more clothes in this size!

Well, it was a fast-food filled weekend with no redeeming factors, save one: we went for a two-mile hike, yesterday, with our dogs. That surely did not burn off the Wendy's, Taco Bell, Chinese and diner meals we ate this weekend (TOM is definitely on the way) Hubby is trying to add weight. I shouldn't join in with him. Ugh! Now, for the pay back:

workout - elliptical trainer for 50 minutes (565 calories burned)

Breakfast - Cinnamon and spice oatmeal, 1 slice of bacon and white pear tea

Lunch - Sirloin (broiled) steak, wild rice with no oil, mixed veggies and one small slice of lemon cake

Yeah, one pound change from last week, but I'm still craving like crazy! I didn't document what I ate yesterday, but here's what I've done so far today. So bad...and no work out! Oh, the humanity!

Breakfast - 1 pancake, 1 frozen waffle, one piece of bacon, one scrambled egg, one fried chicken thigh

Lunch - 4 cheese Dorito crumbs, 1 Gordons batter-dipped fish filet, 1 bowl of cookie crisps (generic)

1 cup of tea, 2 8 ounce cups of grapefruit juice

Sick, sick, sick! My stomach turned all day yeseterday and (despite what I ate), I still ended up weighing less by 4:00pm then when I woke up. Weird.

Here is yesterday:
Calorie goal: 1,201; calories consumed: 1,438; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 1,438

Write in your diary: How do you feel today?

Mood:	- choose - Hungry Full Guilty Tempted Motivated Frustrated Content Okay Tired Hyper Excited Relieved Hungover Stressed Anxious Happy Pleased Sad Sick Healthy Good Proud
Notes:	Today, I feel...
Allow others to see my diary

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
IHOP Pancakes, Buttermilk	1.00	110	3g	30mg	450mg	17g	0g	0g	3g
John Morrell Hardwood Smoked Bacon	0.50	50	5g	5mg	150mg	0g	0g	0g	2g
Scrambled Eggs	1.00	70	5g	240mg	70mg	1g	0g	0g	7g
6' Subway Turkey Sandwich	1.00	280	5g	20mg	1,000mg	46g	7g	5g	18g
Frito-Lay Cheetos Puffs	0.50	80	5g	0mg	175mg	7g	1g	0g	1g
McDonald's Chocolate Chip Cookie	1.00	160	7g	10mg	90mg	22g	15g	1g	2g
Wal-Mart Deli Whole Rotisserie Chicken - Traditional Flavored	1.00	170	10g	65mg	650mg	0g	0g	0g	20g
Uncle Ben's Flavorful Rice Four Cheese	0.50	100	1g	3mg	275mg	22g	0g	0g	3g
King's Hawiian Roll	1.50	120	3g	15mg	120mg	20g	6g	2g	6g
Rose's Mojito Cocktail Mix	2.00	160	0g	0mg	0mg	40g	40g	0g	0g
Bacardi Silver White Light Rum	2.00	138	0g	0mg	16mg	0g	0g	2g	0g
Totals:		1,438	42g	388mg	2,996mg	173g	69g	10g	62g

This morning?

Morning workout - 30 minutes on the Elliptical trainer (333 calories)

Breakfast - 1 packet cinnamon and spice instant oatmeal

Lunch - Lean Gourmet Swedish Meatballs

Afternoon Snack - Chip Mates Cereal (Kroger generic Cookie Crisps)

Dinner - Zatarain's dirty rice (with lean ground turkey), 1.5 servings of Gordon's batter-dipped fish fillets and one Skinny Cow's ice cream cone. Yum!

ood Item	Servings	Cals
Quaker Cinnamon & Spice Instant Oatmeal	1.00	180
Michelina's Lean Gourmet Swedish Meatballs	1.00	310
Kroger's Chip Mates Cookie Cereal	1.00	120
Zatarain's Dirty Brown Rice	2.00	280
Gordon's Batter Dipped Fish Portions	1.50	255
The Skinny Cow Vanilla With Caramel Ice Cream Cone	1.00	150
Totals:		1,295

Ugh! Damn salted food. I over did it yesterday with the salt and (even though the scale has been staying pretty consistent this week) this morning, I was 171 pounds. I know it's water, but it doesn't make it any less depressing.

Morning workout - the firm (much easier this Friday than last. I don't know how many calories I burned. Hope to hop on the Elliptical this afternoon.

Breakfast - Homestyle toaster waffles (two), 2 slices of John Morrell bacon, 1 cup of Stephen's apple cider.

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Safeway Brand Homestyle Waffles	1.00	210	9g	5mg	470mg	28g	4g	0g	4g
John Morrell Hardwood Smoked Bacon	1.00	100	9g	10mg	300mg	0g	0g	0g	4g
Stephen's Apple Cider	1.00	80	0g	0mg	60mg	22g	19g	0g	0g
Quaker Quaker Captain Crunch Peanut Butter Cereal - 14 Oz	1.00	110	3g	0mg	200mg	21g	9g	1g	2g
Peninsula Dumpling Bites	1.00	90	2g	15mg	360mg	13g	1g	0g	6g
Totals:		590	23g	30mg	1,390mg	84g	33g	1g	16g

Morning workout - half hour elliptical 340 calories burned.

Breakfast - Standard

Lunch - Jasmine Restaurant (tempura veggies, salad, potstickers, california rolls, steamed rice and miso soup. I have a feeling a small dinner salad is all I need for tonight.

Dinner - Oh, no. BBQ chicken tenders and 4 cheese Doritos. So much salt today. I know it won't be good tomorrow. I wasn't even sure how to add the information, but I did the best I could.

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Folgers Classic Decaf Naturally Decaffeinated Coffee	1.00	0	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Quaker Simple Harvest Maple Brown Sugar With Pecans	1.00	160	4g	0mg	75mg	30g	9g	4g	4g
Sonny's BBQ Chicken Tenders	1.00	558	32g	88mg	1,792mg	38g	0g	4g	30g
Doritos Four Cheese Flavored Tortilla Chips	1.00	140	8g	0mg	240mg	17g	0g	1g	2g
Gyoza Pork Potstickers	0.45	81	4g	5mg	194mg	9g	0g	0g	3g
Cho Cho California Rolls	1.00	160	8g	10mg	170mg	22g	2g	2g	6g
Steamed White Rice	1.00	90	0g	0mg	0mg	20g	0g	0g	2g
Side Salad*	1.00	21	0g	0mg	14mg	4g	2g	2g	2g
Vegetable Tempura	1.00	350	10g	0mg	200mg	10g	0g	0g	0g
Totals:		1,560	65g	103mg	2,685mg	150g	13g	13g	49g

Morning - Workout for half hour. Burned about 330 calories on the elliptical.

Breakfast - Standard plus one slice John Morrell Hard wood bacon

Lunch - Lean Gourmet Santa Fe Rice and Beans (Yummy!) 1 bowl of Market Pantry Cookie crisps cereal

Afternoon workout - half hour on the elliptical. Burned 335 calories. Have already cleared 64 ounces of water.

Dinner - Zatarain's dirty rice with ground turkey, Gordon's batter dipped fish (1.5 pieces), steamed veggies and a slice of my Kahlua cake (glad it's almost gone) . ;)

Food Item	Servings	Cals
Folgers Classic Roast Instant Coffee 8 oz	1.00	0
Quaker Simple Harvest Maple Brown Sugar With Pecans	1.00	160
John Morrell Hardwood Smoked Bacon	0.50	50
Market Pantry Crispy Cookie Sweetened Multigrain Cereal	1.00	120
Michelina's Lean Gourmet Santa Fe Style Rice & Beans	1.00	330
Zatarain's Dirty Brown Rice	1.00	140
Gordon's Batter Dipped Fish Portions	1.50	255
Wonder Woman's Kahlua Cake	0.59	327
Totals:		1,382

Morning workout - one hour on the elliptical. I burned 653 calories.

Breakfast - Standard (including a slice of John Morrell bacon)

Lunch - Lean Gourmet Swedish Meatballs

Dinner - grilled chicken, angel hair pasta and knorr sauce.

I made a Kahlua cake for neighbors and I had about three or four chocolate chips (yum) and a little swipe of the bowl. I'm going to try not to have a slice, but my house is already smelling like a chocolate heaven. I may have a tiny sliver, if nothing else.

Food Item	Servings	Cals
Folgers Classic Roast Instant Coffee 8 oz	1.00	0
Quaker Simple Harvest Maple Brown Sugar With Pecans	1.00	160
John Morrell Hardwood Smoked Bacon	0.50	50
Michelina's Lean Gourmet Swedish Meatballs	1.00	310
Reese's Peanut Butter Cup	1.00	80
American Beauty Angel Hair (capellini)	1.00	210
Knorr Garlic & Herb	1.00	139
2 Oz Roasted Chicken Breast	1.00	120
Totals:		1,069

I did pretty well, this weekend. Sunday was my splurge day with Taco Bell, big cinny rolls and slurpees as part of the day. I felt good and awful at the same time. The sugar levels were crazy! Its' a new week and it's time to get back to it.

Morning workout - one hour 632 calories burned on the elliptical

Breakfast - Standard (that's what I'm going to call it, now...see previous 7 or 8 entries to know what the "standard" is). L-Carnitine after breakfast.

Lunch - Hubby brought Chinese, so I tabulated this just "off the cuff"; Indian Chicken, spicy chicken, a few pieces of General Tso's chicken and four pot stickers. I'm guessing around 4 or 500 calories for lunch.

Dinner - George Foreman grilled chicken breasts with Zesty Herb marinade, corn on the cob and capellini with Knorr Garlic and Herb sauce. I also had cookie crisps for desert (probably shouldn't have, though).

Food Item	Servings	Cals
Folgers Classic Roast Instant Coffee 8 oz	1.00	0
Quaker Simple Harvest Maple Brown Sugar With Pecans	1.00	160
Indian Chicken	1.00	360
Peking Chef Potstickers	1.00	240
American Beauty Angel Hair (capellini)	1.00	210
Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breast	1.00	110
Knorr Garlic & Herb	0.50	70
Corn On The Cob	1.00	155
General Mills Cookie Crisp	1.00	100
Totals:		1,405

Again, just a guesstimate on lunch, since I have no idea how Asian Buffet prepares their Indian chicken, Garlic Chicken and General's chicken. The pot stickers (I have a feeling) aren't as bad as the listing I chose. Guess I'll know when I look at the scale tomorrow. I'm still very sore, but not as sore as yesterday (I was limping, yesterday...killed my inner thighs!)

I'm establishing a new "weigh day" since things have changed so much. Today, I was 169.2, which is a nice change from the standard 171 I have been. It probably would have been less if I hadn't have eaten dinner at 8:00pm last night (the babe was at gymnastics and I wanted us to all eat together). I updated the ticker to the lady running. The other one was just too busy.

Morning workout - The Firm (the first volume with Susan Harris). You don't realize what body parts you haven't worked, till you go back and try this little gem. It totally kicked my butt!! I have no idea how many calories I burned, but I was sweating like a horse. Somebody's going to be sore tomorrow.

Breakfast - Simple Harvest and coffee/1 slice of Sara Lee Delightful wheat toast

Lunch - Lean Gourmet Chicken Alfredo Florentine (Market Pantry cookie crisp cereal)

Dinner - Petite sirloin (the chart says Ruby Tuesday's, but that' only because I know they grill and season theirs, which is what I did to mine), 2 ears of fresh corn (from the guy who sold us our pumpkins...fresh off his farm), the last of the Western Family stuffing.

Hubby was here. We drank Lexia and had ghiradelli chocolates. I'm so happy when he's here. He stayed the night, too.

(Went a bit over today, but that's okay. I'm counting on the muscle training I did to help counteract the damage).

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Folgers Classic Roast Instant Coffee 8 oz	1.00	0	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Quaker Simple Harvest Maple Brown Sugar With Pecans	1.00	160	4g	0mg	75mg	30g	9g	4g	4g
Lean Gourmet Chicken Alfredo Florentine	1.00	250	7g	40mg	690mg	34g	3g	2g	12g
General Mills Cookie Crisp	1.00	100	1g	0mg	150mg	22g	11g	1g	1g
RUBY TUESDAYS Petite Sirloin	1.00	206	5g	0mg	0mg	2g	0g	0g	0g
Western Family Chicken Stuffing	1.00	170	1g	0mg	430mg	20g	2g	0g	3g
Ear Of Corn, Sweet, Yellow	2.00	246	4g	0mg	42mg	54g	10g	8g	10g
Ghiradelli Dark Chocolate With Caramel Filling	0.50	90	6g	3mg	15mg	11g	8g	1g	1g
Wine, Dessert, Sweet	1.00	47	0g	0mg	3mg	4g	2g	0g	0g
Totals:		1,269	28g	43mg	1,405mg	177g	45g	16g	31g

Morning workout - One hour on the elliptical. Burned 643 calories (only because during my 2nd 20 minutes, I set the tension to level two. I won't do this often because of what it does to my knees. Ouch!)

Breakfast - Simple Harvest oatmeal and Folgers instant coffee with splenda

Lunch - out at Chinese today. I'll do my best. UPDATE: Moo Goo Gai Pan, steamed rice (didn't eat all of it), lo mein (ate very little), miso soup and 32 ounces of water. Three wontons.

Dinner - American Beauty Angel Hair pasta, Prego mushroom sauce, ground turkey, canned mushrooms. About 1.5 servings.

Food Item	Servings	Cals
Folgers Classic Roast Instant Coffee 8 oz	1.00	0
Quaker Simple Harvest Maple Brown Sugar With Pecans	1.00	160
Moo Goo Gai Pan	1.00	217
Plain Steamed White Rice	1.00	184
Wontons, Deep Fried	0.10	56
American Beauty Angel Hair (capellini)	1.50	315
Prego Fresh Mushroom Pasta Sauce	1.00	120
Festive (Jennie-O) Ground Turkey	0.25	43
Totals:		1,094

Morning workout - 60 minutes elliptical trainer (619 calories burned)

Breakfast - Simple Harvest oatmeal 1 cup of folgers instant with Splenda

Morning Snack - Honey bunches of oats with coffeemate

Lunch - Hamburger helper (half serving) one bowl of Market Pantry cookie crisps

Hubby said, "So, you're almost done with work?"

"Yep."

"Then you'll be doing your workout afterward?"

"Well, I did an hour on the elliptical this morning."

"Wow! Then, you'll have to make up a body part tomorrow."

Long pause...

"Well, to be honest, I haven't really been doing my weight training. I've been so despondent, it's all I can do to get up and do the cardio I've been doing."

Another long pause...

"It's no reflection on you, honey. These are all my issues."

"No, I understand."

I hope he does. He's not coming over at all today. Sadness. I pulled out steaks from deep freeze to cook for him. I'll cook them, but probably won't each much. I don't have an appetite when he's not around.

New thingy on my site! A ticker! It's kinda cute, but I may edit that sucker. Me and shoes, I know.

Dinner - Petite sirloin (southwest marinade, George Forman grilled), Pictsweet steamed broccoli, carrots and cauliflower, Western Family stove top stuffing (half the butter recommended).

Food Item	Servings	Cals
Quaker Simple Harvest Maple Brown Sugar With Pecans	1.00	160
Folgers Classic Roast Instant Coffee 8 oz	1.00	0
Honey Bunches Of Oats Honey Bunches Of Oats	1.00	130
General Mills Cookie Crisp	1.00	100
Hamburger Helper Stroganoff	0.75	239
RUBY TUESDAYS Petite Sirloin	1.00	206
Western Family Chicken Stuffing	1.00	170
PictSweet Deluxe Steamers Broccoli Florets, Cauliflower & Carrots	1.00	30
Totals:		1,035

(from Daily Plate)