It's so gloomy, here. It's April showers like crazy, and it's not even April yet. What gives? I thought we officially hit spring on Sunday. I gotta tell you, I was none to thrilled to go out to my car after church to slippery, super-wet snow. Geesh! What's really depressing is that we won't see the sun (according to weather.com) until next Wednesday. Next Wednesday? No, no. I simply can't wait that long (as if I had a choice). What happened to our 60+ weather we had last week and the week before? Now, I can totally dig those temps. Bring them back, please!

The weight training is going well and so is the eating, which I seem to be doing a whole lot of. I eat and eat and eat. I know it's supposed to keep my metabolism revved, but give me a break! I feel like a little piggy. As soon as the food feels like it's settling in my tummy, it's freakin' time to eat again. Yesterday, I had a bowl of oatmeal and a carb-watcher's muffin for dinner. I couldn't eat anything else. It's too weird. Meanwhile, I took a look at myself in the mirror, as I was hefting a 20lb bar bell, bicep style. I'm looking better, even after only 4 days (I missed Thursday and Saturday of last week). I'll be glad when the cottage cheese that's found it's way to my thighs, begins to disappear. I never really had any there before. It's not cute. Ugh!

What am I eating? Lots and lots of chicken, a few egg whites, brown rice, veggies, fish and oatmeal. Very little white sugar or white flour, if any. I made Kodiak pancakes on Saturday and was surprisingly pleased at how good they were. They're multigrain with about 130 calories, 2 grams of fat and 4 grams of fiber for two. A little syrup and I was in heaven. It's actually not been hard to convert to this way of eating, it's just the feeling of eating all the time that I've got to get used to.

I haven't weighed and don't plan to for a while, as I've said. I know that the scale would not be kind to me right now, so why put myself through that? I know that in a few weeks, the balance will tip and the muscle will start burning this blasted fat from my thighs (and everywhere else, hopefully), then, I can say hello to the scale again. By then, I think I'll be brave enough to change the site. I guess we'll see, when it comes to that point. Meanwhile, I guess I'll go home and eat some more chicken.

The crossroads? I may have made a turn. I am very hopeful. I spoke to the daycare manager yesterday and I may be able to change the Babe's school district, which would have her in school in the city in which we work, rather than where we live. The particular school in question also has all-day kindergarten as well as after-school care. Again, I am hopeful. Anything could happen.

I'll have to go by there today at lunch and fill out forms, so the workout will need to be moved to the end of the day. They close at 3:00, so it's not something I could do on the way home. {I'm currently nibbling on an Apex bar (oatmeal raisin flavored). I have to say, of all the protein bars out there, I really, really like these.} My biceps are sore (yesterday was arms day), but I'm not feeling the pain in my triceps, which is where I usually feel it. Maybe my form wasn't good or maybe I just did them completely wrong or maybe, the weights weren't heavy enough. I don't know. I just hope it makes a difference.

We watched the SpongeBob movie with the babe last night. I actually thought it was kind of cute, even after approaching the evening with a bad attitude. My plan was to settle in for a night of American Idol drama, but that was not to happen. I did see who was voted off this morning. I wasn't surprised.

I just finished a cup of real coffee and I'm feeling the jitters already. I had a cup with a friend (it was a coffee date-moment we planned yesterday for today.) I couldn't very well drink decaf. I had to have the Cinnamon Crumb Cake flavor to share with her. It was divine but, again, I am seriously feeling it. Only an hour and a half till I can get in my car and drive out some of this energy. To bad I'm missing the gym at lunch, today. That would have been the best place to exert this, before I crash. Ugh!

Things are looking rosy today. I hope they continue on this plane. I've missed rosy days.

I started weight training again Monday night. I also trained again at the gym, yesterday. My body feels like it's been hit by a train (well, I imagine this is how it feels to be hit by a train, but I'm probably not even close). I did my Firm tape Monday and the free weights and machines for my legs yesterday. Everything is sore, despite only working my legs yesterday. I'm feeling the effects of both days today. I hope I can last through the break-through period because I feel like I won't make it during today's workout. Why have I started training again? Because over the weekend I noticed that things that didn't use to jiggle are now jiggling out of control. It's not pretty. I remember during the middle of summer two years ago, I was in great shape, but weighed 170. It was weird how I fit into everything, but weighed so much. Yes. I understand that muscle weighs more than fat and yes, I understand that it takes time for the muscle synergy to catch up to the fat burning, but that didn't make it any less weird. I'm at a point where looking like that again is all I care about, if the jiggling will stop.

I probably lost muscle, during my initial weight loss (which is why the jiggling is happening). I've got to get that dynamic tissue (muscle) back, even at the risk of the scale going up again. I've decided not to look at it for a while, until I get back into the groove of weight training. I'm even upping my protein to help with the process. Yesterday, I had 80 to 90 grams of protein. I felt like I was eating all day, but when I plugged in my points on the WW points calculator, I actually banked 2 points. I like the fact that protein makes you feel full and curbs your desire for sweets (my biggest weakness).

I'll keep up on this blog with how things are going. I can say that I do feel a bit heavier, but that's perfectly fine if I tone up and can wear a shirt without seeing the jiggle (can you tell I have a complex about this jiggle? Ewww!)

What a weekend! We made our trip to Vegas for hubby's meeting, knowing that this was also the weekend for NASCAR. Oy, vei! When we first drove in, the raceway was totally packed. The major race was scheduled for Sunday, but I guess trials and so forth were going on. Anyway, traffic was horrendous, but we made it to the gym for hubby's meeting. He felt very positive about the experience and will be talking to his friend about the possibility of job opportunities. We'll see how it goes.

We bought a lot of liquor, while we were down there. In Utah, liquor is regulated and we don't have stores on the corners like other places. You have to find a state-regulated liquor store to purchase your wine and spirits. It's really irritating, especially if you need something for cooking or you'd just like a nice bottle of wine for dinner and the stores are closed. Vegas has lots of discount stores and liquor is sold everywhere, practically (surprise, surprise). We spent nearly $100 on a variety of things, items (primarily) we're interested in trying but can't find here. The cabinet is now stocked. (We had a nice chardonnay for dinner last night that we got on super sale for $3.00).

We didn't get back to the hotel Friday night until around midnight. Saturday, we spent playing around in St. George, Cedar City and Brian Head. The weather was perfect! Eighty degrees in tank tops and shorts. Amazing! It was freaky for the mind, though - March 10th and 80 degrees. Saturday night, we night-swam in the hotel's indoor pool and relaxed in the hot-tub. The babe loved it too.

We ate entirely too much over the weekend and TOM was here, so I was extra bloated and attractive. I decided too that the weight training must resume sooner rather than later because stuff is starting to jiggle that didn't jiggle before. Also, hubby informed me that I have to stop being so scared of protein. I guess I am a bit scared. I need more chicken and fish like him. I think that it would be better to follow his eating habits, rather than my own. That way, when I do splurge, I don't panic about it like I have been. I'll be popping in my Firm tape tonight to get started (I can't go to the gym because I have a call...a call I conveniently forgot about until the guy emailed me documents and said, "These are for our call today"...ah, what call?).

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday...feeling the stress of my daughter going to school (Charter or otherwise), changing jobs, possibly loosing my house ...you know, the usual stuff that has made me flustered these past few months. Hubby, as he is so good at doing, came to the rescue and reminded me that I'm not alone in all of this. I'm so glad I'm not because I think I would go insane! It's frustrating, confusing and hard on the tummy, but we'll get through it. We have no choice.

Hubby and I both went to bed on time and got a lot of rest, thankfully. We were both exhausted, by the time we got home and settled in for the night. The babe even had a slight temperature and wanted to go to bed. Hubby rented Fairytopia for her last night. As a family, we watched it with her. I thought it would be completely unbearable, but whoever is writing these stories isn't doing such a bad job. I wasn't as too thrilled with their Rapunzel, but the Princess and the Pauper as well as Fairytopia were okay. (Just in case you're interested, it's about a fairy (Barbie/Elina) without wings who lives in an enchanted garden, guarded by fairy guardians. Trouble ensues when the guardians begin to disappear and all of Fairytopia begins to weaken due to a strange sickness. It's up to Elina to stop the dreaded Laverna(sp) from capturing all the guardian fairies and their powers.) The scary characters weren't too scary and the heroes weren't too scared of the scary characters. If they had been, I think the babe would have liked this more.

Tonight is clean up night, oh fun. We just hate coming back to a dirty house after a trip (it's only happened once), so we're always sure to do a thorough clean up (including laundry) before we go anywhere. This morning, we woke up to a huge pile of dog vomit that I had to clean up, so my cleaning began early this morning with me breaking out the steam cleaner. Forget coffee waking you up, just jump into a big pile of dog vomit. Ugh!

I bought my girlfriend a Melitta Coffee filter Cone and filters last night, before I went home. We were talking about mine and how neat it was to be able to make one cup of coffee (using your own good coffee, and not the crap they make in the breakroom) using only your coffee cup. I told her that the next time I went to the store, I would get her one. Well, I went ahead and stopped for her last night. They sell the filters (a box of 40) for .50 and the cone for 1.oo...not bad. I was going to buy her gourmet coffee, but they didn't have what I wanted to get her and the bags and bags of Seattle's Best that they did have were mild (she likes bold - they also sell each bag for $2.00, where most grocery stores charge $8.50. Yikes!) It appears as if I'm a big coffee drinker, but I'm not. The kind I have is decaf because regular makes me race like a jack-rabbit! And, I don't drink it every day (a couple of times a week, if that). I'm just one that, when I do get ready to drink it, I want it to be good. To give her something good to start with, I stopped at Smith's and bought her a bag of the Black Mountain Gold, Swiss Chocolate Almond.

I did well with my eating, yesterday. I wasn't even that hungry, when I got home last night. I had some soup and protein total...a few light tortillas and a glass of Alice White Shiraz. Well, I suppose work is something I should try and do, now.

I didn't sleep well at all last night. I went to bed around 9:45 (I was watching the tape I made of Their Eyes Were Watching God and stopped at a commercial, when hubby was ready to sleep). He was gone in about 5 minutes while I tossed and turned for nearly an hour. I had some things on my mind, but I didn't realize that they were weighing so heavy.

Recently, one of our employees moved on to another job. Another employee followed suit a day later. They both went to the same location, but will be working in different capacities. Anyway, the lady who left was sort of the town crier around here...a loud person with a lot of opinions. She was also a hidden racist who spread all sorts of nasty rumors about the people of color employed here. Anyway, before she left, she made sure to leave her "legacy" behind...also leaving lots of animosity behind for the remaining people to struggle with. I was made privy to all these rumors when my girlfriend stayed the weekend. It doesn't effect me directly, but it still effects me (if that makes sense).

There are others, now, carrying on that legacy of suspicion, deception and hatred making it very hard for those who are of color and still have to work here. It's not for me to bring this up to HR because it's all hearsay for me. I haven't heard any of this directly. I wish my friend would say something to HR, because those spreading these horrible rumors would really be in for it (or at least, I hope they would. No one should have to endure this sort of treatment). Oh, man. What to do!

Aside from that, I was thinking about another lady here who has never liked me. Not that everyone has to like me, but she has always regarded me coolly and made sure to stare me down at every opportunity. When we are in a group setting, she makes out like we just work together all the time. What the hell is that about, I ask you? Several people have told me that she's very kind and giving (she used to be a school teacher turned IBM exec), while others have said that there's a wall you have to get past before you see the kindness. I believe we've been working together 2 years, and she still treats me the same way. It's just odd to me. There are people here that I work less with who treat me better. {Yeah, I'd say it was time to go. Too much drama here, even with the possibility of working from home. I'm still debating over all of it.}

Today is my Wednesday, so I'm glad about that. The weekend can't get here fast enough. You know, with all the restlessness I felt, I wasn't motivated enough to walk on the treadmill. I thought about it, but decided (despite not being able to fall asleep) I was just too tired. I weighed this morning, just for the heck of it, and I'm up the two pounds I lost. TOM is on the way so, I'm guessing it's water? I don't know. It could be the tamale pie I had Saturday night. It takes a couple of days for me to see food splurges.

I'm trying to be optimistic about the day, but with the lack of energy, I'm kind of moving into an "I don't care" mode. We'll see how it goes.

Even though the air appears as if someone took a big stogie the size of a skyscraper and smoked it atop the American Stores tower, the sun is burning bright...bright enough to disintegrate the smog, I hope. Only four days this week for me. I can't wait to get out of here! I'm really feeling restless and I'm so glad hubby is taking me and the babe along for the ride this weekend (a business trip of sorts, I think I mentioned before). Anyway, I'm really needing a real vacation, but this will be okay for now.

The weekend's eating was fine until Saturday evening. My company, who was supposed to be at my house by 3, got there at 10 to 8. By then, I was ready to eat the counter-top...consequently, I feasted well on the Tamale pie she brought (highly fattening). Sunday, we went to Golden Corral, but dinner was Chinese. Each time I ate well, but I'm holding water (I'm close to my visit with TOM, so I have to be sure to drink a lot of water this week). I've gotten through almost 16 ounces this morning, and it's just a few minutes after 8. Not bad.

I'm hopeful that the week will go okay. I want to have a good week because I'm really getting ancy about my job. I watch people race to work in the morning traffic to get their jobs and I wonder, "Man, they must really love their jobs to want to go 85 mph to get there." It seems bizarre to me, but then I remember that once upon a time I really loved my job too and raced to get there everyday. Hmmm. I can't even imagine that, now. I'm in no hurry to get here, but I'm in an awful hurry to leave. I'm sure I'm not alone in my sentiments.

I've got a lot to do, so the load should help in speeding the week along...gosh, I hope so. Here's to being overly hopeful!

I'm sure there won't be a repeat of the WWF, but I am playing it cautious. I am PMSing after all. I am praying for a good, positive, productive weekend. One can hope!

Today has been kind of bitter-sweet. One of our long-term employees is moving on to greener pastures. He's a kind and gentle soul that many will truly miss, including myself. Not only is he a wonderful person, he's a phenomenal chef too! In fact, he brought in hand-made cinnamon rolls and on his last day of work! Amazing! I wrapped mine up to take home and share with the little one. My butt will be on the treadmill tonight, after today's high-fattening pot-luck, going away lunch for him. It was divine and I partook and partook way too much. A little stroll on the treadmill this evening should even things out.

The babe begins swim lessons again tomorrow and I'm so happy for her. I hope she excels and moves quickly to level 2. (I'm anxious for her to be totally comfortable with the water, like her mother). One scaredy cat is enough (my hubby can handle water in small doses, where I could swim every day).

Keep me in your thoughts this weekend as I try not to dwell too much on the past.

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them-- every day begin the task anew. -Francis de Sales

This is my mantra, right now. It's so true. I have a hard time (the OCD personality that I am) accepting that things aren't always going to be explained or rational, when it comes to relationships. Sometimes they just do whatever they're going to do. You would think I'd already have a grasp of this, being married and all but, little miss stubborn is still having issues...they're improving, but issues nonetheless.

I'm up two pounds from last week, due to the splurge over the weekend. Hubby took me to lunch yesterday and I maintained control, thank goodness. With him training for his show, he's very particular about what he eats and even more so, when we go out. We went for Chinese. He had the Chicken and green beans plate, with a side of Chicken skewers. Protein fest! I had the Beef and Broccoli with lo mein and wontons. We both had the egg flower soup as well. Not bad for lunch and quite filling. Next week, I'll be back in the swing of my workouts. I have been going at lunch (except for yesterday), but I haven't done my morning walks since before I got sick. I'll be happy to have those back again. I'm getting soft and I don't like it one little bit.

This weekend, the babe begins her swimming lessons again. She's excited and so am I. I'll be glad when we can swim together and I can do it without worrying about her too much. I hope that happens soon. We're also (supposedly) having company over this weekend. We'll see. She has a habit of canceling out.

My hubby is so sweet! He put my lunch together last night when he came home from work. It was his off-day, but he worked an overtime shift from 6:00pm to 10:00pm, came home, then went back out to his part-time job and worked 2 hours. Amazing! He came home at around 1ish, washed the dishes and made my lunch. What a prince. (Don't worry...I know how fortunate I am). We're supposed to be going out of town next week. I'm looking forward to getting out of the state for a bit. I always feel so recharged when I do. The babe will enjoy it too, no doubt.

Here's to better days ahead!

Friday evening was terrific, don't get me wrong. Hubby and I had our accountant over to complete our taxes for us. We'll be getting enough back to pay off the new appliances we bought last year and the new carpet going down in the basement. So, it's always nice to lessen a debt. After the taxes were done, hubby and I went for dinner at Golden Corral then, off to the movies to see Cursed (Wait for it to come out on video, guys. It wasn't that spectacular).

Saturday, I went over to my mother's to do my daughter's hair and to wait for her (my mom) to help me with a writing assignment I had. My sister came home, one thing led to another and I'm fleeing the seen of an assault. Lovely! Thank goodness my mother came to the rescue and I did not have to receive a citation from the police department (yep. The cops got involved). What the hell happened? I'm a calm, somewhat conservative person. I never even been in a physical confrontation before! Not even in school!! But, as I've always said, everyone has their breaking point and I hit mine on Saturday (literally). I'm not proud or glad about what happened. In fact, I was extremely upset all weekend; however, I am taking it as a learning experience. Recently, the troubles with my family have grown and I can't pinpoint why. We've always been fairly close with little to no conflict. My hubby says that my family doesn't "release" or "talk enough", which is true. We do hold too much in...especially me, when it comes to my sister. I am frank, though. I've always said that I love her, but don't like her very much. The problem exploded when my child got involved. Like a mother bear, I protected my cub to the fullest.

I decided over the weekend that I do not want a relationship with my sister any longer. In deciding this, it changes many things. I will have to change my church and remove her name from my "emergency contact list" at the babe's daycare (anyone who can degrade a child's mother in front of the child should not have contact with the child, in my opinion). I will not be going to my mother's house anymore (but I have no problem with her visiting us). My sister is no longer welcome at my home. You know, it's funny. Just before my mother left Saturday morning, she said that my sister (after agreeing to take care of my daughter Friday night) immediately "dumped" the babe on her (my mom), when she returned from her rehearsal. My mother said it reminded her of when she would go to obligations and leave my sister home with my dad. He would do the same thing when she returned.

My home-life is completely opposite. My hubby would never do such a thing. In fact, he's always trying to carve out time to see the babe. He's even admitted to being jealous of all the time the babe and I have together. In my opinion, that's a real father. (my father was never like that and still, to this day, I speak to him only a few times a year. My sister won't talk to him or my grandmother at all).

This just seems so terrible, now that I'm looking at it in black and white. What's worse is hubby tried to provide comfort by treating me and the babe to all of our favorite things to eat. Granted, they weren't all sinful (but 50% were, for sure). I stepped on the scale Sunday, but probably shouldn't use that number as a judge. I was holding water, completely sore and it was about a half hour after I woke up.

The whole of Saturday, I couldn't talk to my mom because I was talking to the cop. Then, my phone died. Then, when she tried to call me at home, I was in such a state that hubby asked her to call me back. He said that she would call me later. She hasn't called yet (it's now Monday). My fear is that, true to form, she has taken my sister's side, enabled and coddled her, now wants nothing to do with me (gosh, this is awful!!). I'm just numb about that part of it. My sister, I can deal with but my mother? Geesh! Talk about intensifying the crossroads. As if my life weren't already in a state of chaos!

I am so thankful for my husband. He left work when the crap went down to come home and take care of me. He wasn't justifying what I had done, but did remind me that I was human and that I should forgive and try to let go. Best advice, I think. I felt so bad for the babe that I apologized to her continually on the way home. I'm just so glad that she's young because an older child might have truly been traumatized (not that she isn't, but older children have a better grasp of memories). Ugh! I just don't even want to be here today, but I can't be defeated. I will do what I do and pray for better days. I have to. I don't really have a choice.

I wish I had something exciting planned but alas, this is not the case. I will be doing the babe's hair first thing in the morning. Then, after her nap, I will be journeying to my mother's to write a proposal. Oh, fun. It just doesn't get much better than this!

The cake was a huge success, yesterday (my co-worker ended up sharing with the office). It was gone an hour after she sent the "all staff" email. You would have thought a chocolate cake was gold, the way people were snarfing it down. I guess it's a compliment to my baking skills as well. I had a small sliver myself and it sure was tasty.

I'm really liking these Van's waffles my hubby purchased. They are all wheat, 180 calories for 2 waffles with only 2 grams of fat and 5 grams of fiber. They taste a lot like those Belgian frozen waffles they used to make (the ones that you had to put in the sleeves before microwaving...that's the other thing. You microwaved those puppies, instead of the traditional toasting). The other thing is that they are 3 points (in regards to the WW diet). About 5 total, when you add a bit of syrup. Groovy! I had two this morning and an egg white.

I'm down 1/2 a pound. I hope it's more by the start of next week. I think it has to do with the little walk I took on the treadmill last night when I got home. Boy, was that something. I started hacking like a mad woman after only fifteen minutes (I took it slow, around 3.2 but I inclined to around 6). Not as fast, but a harder walk. I even burned more calories than I normally due. The workout makes the difference in how fast I loose, for sure. I'll take another jaunt this evening as well.

It's in the 50's here and I'm totally loving it! I love spring and can't wait for it to finally arrive. Everything about it is appealing; the colors, the weather, the smells. Wonderful! Here's to having a bit of spring fever and not having anything fun to do this weekend! :-)

Primarily, the expectations I have of myself, are way too high (I think). I've eaten hardly anything all week and my weight hasn't changed. You'd think the bonus to being sick would be a bit of weight-loss but noooo. I get stuck in plateau land again. What the hell! I suppose if I were doing the workout thing and burning those extra 3 to 400 calories, I would be seeing a difference. How is it that people starve themselves and loose buckets of weight and I eat barely anything and manage to stay the same? It's so frustrating. Typically, when I get sick, I want to eat everything under the sun (you know, comfort and stuff). This time, I made an effort not to inhale everything I saw and what happens? I'm stuck. Well, I'll try to be patient and see what happens when the workouts start up again. I'm trying really hard to try.

I watched American Idol and saw four of the folks get the big boot. You know, it's interesting that one of those chicks talked about not being seen or getting any exposure while she was on the show. It appeared that the folks that got voted off were folks I hadn't seen much of. I guess if you mug enough for the camera, it sure can help with those votes. I've never voted myself, but I sure have strong opinions about who I like and don't like.

My co-worker's birthday is tomorrow, but she's going out of town so, last night I baked her one of my famous Kaluha cakes. They are divine - devil's food cake, chocolate pudding, chocolate chips, eggs, sour cream, oil, kaluha and powdered sugar. It's enough to make your teeth ache! I also bought her little girlie things (body glitter, nail polish and dangle star earrings). She was mighty happy. It's always nice to get goodies for your birthday. I will never forget how I felt the year my birthday was forgotten. It sucked royally!

Here's to hoping against hope that the poundage begins to leave again.

I awakened to a bit more hacking last night, but nothing like the night before. The cold storm is passing and just in time! Our weather, here, is taking a turn for the better. What was initially forecasted as a doom and gloom week, filled with snow and sleet is now predicted to be a sunny, in the 50's kind of week...and I may actually get to enjoy it.

I'm really starting to miss my workouts. I know that I would be making a serious dent in my initial pound dropage this week if only I were busting my butt on the treadmill or elliptical trainer (but this kid isn't crazy. No relapses for me). Hubby was up at 3 this morning doing cardio on the treadmill (he's training for a competition in April). I hope he sees it through. He won his last competition in 2000. I'm not sure if this is a natural or not (the non-naturals do not test for steroids). If it isn't, he will be competing against folks who have used elements other than nature to get bigger. Personally, I think they should all test.

I have no plans for the weekend, but I think it's time to do the babe's hair again. It's looking kind of ratty. She would have the opportunity to audition for a show on Thursday, but we have a dentist appointment (that I had to reschedule and get approved for time off at work), so this audition must not be for her.

Lots of people in my office are turning in their resignations. One gentleman here has been here since (nearly) the inception of the college and his last day is next week. He really got a bum rap from our president and I feel so bad for him on that front, but I am happy that he'll be going somewhere where he feels needed and appreciated. He deserves it. Another lady, of whom I'm pretty good friends with, her last day is Friday. We're taking her to lunch today (Cafe Trang). I can't wait! We both love that place so much and it's not fattening (thank goodness!). I bought her a gift last night at Barnes and Nobel. It's two astrology books with astrology house cards included. She's really gotten into that, so I thought, "What a great thing for her to remember me by". I hope she likes it.

Well, probably should get down to the grind. I'm back-to-back meeting girl today. Yesterday was hellacious! I hope today is a bit more easy going.

Friday, I didn't come into the office at all. I felt horrible! The cold was in my lungs most of the weekend and I stayed medicated and high, while hubby took wonderful care of me. He cooked and cooked so that meals would be available for the whole of th week. What an angel! It was also his weekend off, so he helped with the babe while I rested (My hero!). I'm still coughing a lot, but I do feel much better than I did Friday or Saturday. Resting at night is a trial. I spend it coughing and running to the bathroom (to spare detail, I'll just say that my gag reflex is pretty sensitive). Hubby would wake up and ask me if I was alright. It was a game for me, at times...how long could I go before submitting to coughing hysterics. My eyes watering and my throat burning, it would never last very long.

Monday, I weighed and was 3.5 pounds down from last week. I hope this trend continues (even after I become healthy again). The sucky part is that I can't workout right now. A few minutes on the treadmill and I'd probably cough up a lung...literally! Hubby, the babe and I went shopping a bit yesterday and just walking around the store could prove troublesome. It comes in waves...for a long while I'll go without coughing at all. As soon as it starts, I'm hacking and hacking like a smoker trying to quit. It's annoying, more than anything. I just want it to go away completely.

I watched many a movie this weekend. I know I haven't updated that page in a while, so I'll give my reviews here:

976-EVIL - What a joke! My hubby has this as part of our collection for nostaglia purposes. That's good because there is no validity to this movie whatsoever! The geeky lead, Stephen Geoffreys (now, gay porn star) can't hold this garbage together no matter how effective his acting. Everyone comes across unbelievable and goofy (especially the religious crazed, abusive mother Lucy) What a joke! Still, if you love 80's camp-horror and can handle it for "just fun's sake", then check this one out. Be warned, it probably won't scare you.

The Dunwich Horror - It's interesting that I watched this one. Sandra Dee passed away this weekend. Erie! This is a very different horror film and probably scared the wits out of folks in the 60's. It plays out like a horror novel (and is probably based on one). It was Sandra's last feature film and kicked off Dean Stockwell's career as a character actor. Basically, a young college girl (Sandra Dee) and her friends (another young girl and a librarian/professor/historian) meet up with a historian (Dean Stockwell), of sorts, who is very interested in a priceless book. He succeeds in "hypnotizing" the young girl and finagles it so that she must spend the weekend with him. Meanwhile, we find out that the Dean's character is hated by everyone in the town and is considered a devil worshipper. Not deterred, they begin to fall for each other and Dean's true reason for "kidnapping" the young girl becomes apparent.

Boogie Nights - I don't know why this movie fascinates me so. Mark Whalberg leads an all star cast (Burt Reynolds, Heather Graham, Julianne Moore, Don Cheadle) in this tale about a nobody (Eddie) who becomes a huge somebody (Dirk Diggler) within the porn industry. It lays out the naive, yet driven personalities of these people and how their ignorance to the world outside of their own works to cripple them. I'm not sure if porn stars are really like this, but if they are, heaven help them. It wouldn't' surprise me, since most of them are unable to do anything outside of this profession, once they've become entrenched in it.

The acting is great and the characters are sympathetic, despite the moral depravity.

The People Vs. Larry Flynt - One of Woody Harrelson's best films! He is Larry Flynt. Courtney Love as Althea Flynt is excellent as well. Somebody needs to tell this girl that acting is her calling (cause it sure as heck ain't singing). Larry starts out as poor country boy who ends of the king of smut. Along the way, he teaches the judicial system a thing or two about the first amendment. A very good movie, but I wouldn't use it as a pure source of historical documentation. There are lots of holes, but probably due to the focus of the film.

Casino - Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci and Sharon Stone as criminals trying to succeed in Las Vegas. I just don't buy Mr. Italian himself as a jewishman, but whatever. The acting is superb and the film stands out as great mobster movie, with a twist (don't watch this if you can't handle a lot of strong language and violence). One of Sharon's best films to date!

Foxes - Jody Fisher was pretty much a seasoned actress (at 18) when she starred in this film. It is a coming of age story, with a bit more involved. Four girls (the grounded one, the vane one, the party-girl and the virgin) at the end of high school, are struggling to hold their friendship together, while trying to assert themselves as adults. Hard lessons are learned and ultimately, they find tragedy and resolve. It was filmed in 80 so, don't expect miracles; however, I think it's a worthy watch.

Mr. 3000 - Cute movie, starring Bernie Mac. Very predictable, but fun till the end. Not as much laugh-out-loud hilarity as I thought there would be. Angela Bassett isn't as over-the-top in this one, but I noticed age catching up with her in this one (not sure why, but it was very apparent).

Yesterday morning, I woke up with the the yucky stuff in my throat. I dismissed it as morning phlem, brushed my teeth, gargled and called it good. By around 8ish, the yuck had returned (accompanied by the scratchy feeling I get when a cold is about to settle in on me). After battling for another hour or two, I felt the cold make a home in my throat. Ugh! By the time I got home, I was miserable. I ate soup, a small slice of bread and a bit of Wheat Chex for desert (believe it or not) and followed it with Tylenol Night Time (w/cool burst). I was asleep before the American Idol credits began to roll.

This morning, I woke up still heavy with the meds, and got on the scale (two pounds down from yesterday). Well, I'm sure it's all water weight but, no complaints here. I'm sure I'll level off by tomorrow. For now, I'm still feeling like a zombie and wish I could be home; however, I'll probably get more rest here because if I were at home, the babe would be home with me...driving me absolutely batty and I wouldn't get any rest anyway. Oh, well. Such is the life of a mother. (We also have visitors coming in from out of town in my office. I'm looking better than I feel, that's for sure).

Let's hope the day goes fast so I can go home and go to bed.

Down a pound and a half from yesterday (of course, it could be all the water I packed on during TOM, but who cares! It makes me and the scale much more friendly). I am focused, though. Here's what I had yesterday:

Morning (around 7ish) 1 packet of plain oatmeal with splenda sprinkled on top
1 cup of Nescafe Frothe, Amaretto Cappuccino

Mid-day (around 10:30) - one serving of honey/garlic powder and onion powder pretzels

Lunch (12:30 ish after the gym) - Ginger Tofu Shrimp and rice bowl

Dinner (5:45 ish) - 2 Morning Star Farms Charbroiled "Chik'n" (Soy) patties with BBQ sauce
1 serving of reduced-fat Tostitos

8/8 ounces of water

This was a bit slim, compared to what I normally eat. I usually get in one more snack but missed it. I've got my carrots and apple today. I've almost sucked down 32 ounces of water (I had 16 before I left the house this morning). Overall, I'm sure the eating along with all the water is cleansing me of every naughty tidbit I packed on during the holidays. Let's hope so!

Yesterday, I began working on an online course (offered through our University). I worked for about forty-five minutes and the time just flew! Very different from a traditional classroom. Forty-five minutes in a lecture-led room would have lasted eons and I still would have had ten more minutes worth of lecturing to listen too. This was not the case in my creative writing classes. Those were much more fun and not really lecture-based (but I digress). I'm going to work on some more during my lunch hour today, since I seem to be catching a cold. I'm putting up a good fight, but I can feel the cold in my throat (that's how I know...the scratchy stuff appears in my throat as the first sign, along with the extra thick mucusy feeling (sorry for the visual). Then the sneezing follows soon after, followed by the insistent coughing that hangs on for two weeks or so.). It's snowing right now and I don't want to work out, shower and come out in that weather with a wet head. I'll save it up for this evening and walk on the treadmill instead. At least then I'll be inside. Hopefully, I won't be feeling crappy by then so I can still work in the workout.

I actually have tons of taffy and peanut brittle sitting on my desk to share with folks in my office. I haven't even touched it! The peanut brittle was calling my name, then I just drank down 8 ounces of water really fast. You know, that really works (most of the time). Well, I better get back to work and stuff, since it's so much fun.

Confident, brassy, sassy, motivated, rejuvenated, empowered, special, lovely...I'm feeling it. Not sure where it's coming from. Maybe it's the half pound that disappeared. Maybe it was the hot night I had with my hubby or maybe it's just the rededication I've made to getting this weight off forever. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying it. I hope no one tries to steal my joy today, I'm feeling sassy enough to tell him/her off!

It's snowing big time here today. It took me almost forty minutes to get into town today (normally, it takes 25 minutes). Crazy! The flakes were huge and sticky. There was some black ice on the highway as well, so everyone slowed down to a snail's crawl to compensate. Of course, I can't complain. If there's one state of driving that Utahns can handle it's snowy driving (they just can't drive during the spring, summer or fall or when it rains. And blinkers? Fugetaboutit!). I'm hoping it calms down before I have to go to the gym, or at least before I have to go home and drive in it. Actually, I'm looking out of my boss's window and all seems pretty clear right now. Man, I can't wait until spring!

I was thinking about making my own Easter dress this year...something vintage. I don't know. I haven't decided. It would be cool, since my goal is to be a size down. I'm looking at the dresses from the 50s , something swingy but not too pretentious. Like I said, I'm not sure if I'll do it but I thought it would be such a springy and happy thing to do for a dress this year.

The sun is trying to peek through the clouds. I'm very happy to see it. Happy Tuesday!

Oh, glorious, oh so commercial Valentine's day! How I used to loathe you so! Yes. It's true. There was a period in my life where I actually hated this holiday. I would even wear black in protest. This was my I-hate-all-the-men-but-wish-I-had-one time of my life. After my hubby, things changed drastically. In fact, it was the first holiday we celebrated, after becoming a couple (boyfriend/girlfriend). Last night, he presented me with about $50 in Victoria's Secret lotions. Yum! (Pure Seduction, Romantic Wish and Sweet Temptation) I gave him a copy of Elf on DVD and Dodgeball (which I discovered we already have) and a new, Faberware rice steamer. He's a brown rice eating whore, so I thought this was appropriate. Our current steamer can make about two cups, where his new one can make twenty. He was most pleased (believe it or not).

I am so freaking focused today! There is truly something to be said about the power of the mind and how we can execute our control. I made up my mind over the weekend to really get serious again with my eating habits. Since I know have a WW calculator, I am no longer keeping my spreadsheet; however, I will keep it close by for reference. It's good to see where you once were and how you got there. So truly, I am talking serious focus here. I've totally psyched myself and feel good about my mind set. I've got some "muses" to help me along and will look back to them frequently for inspiration. Godspeed to me!

The Grammys were great last night! I was most pleased with the music, musicians and the exceptional hostess (I just love Queen Latifah and what a voice!). She's a b-girl at heart, but can still kick up the glam; she keeps it real without sounding ignorant and she's one classy lady. I admire her in so many ways. She was a terrific pick! As for the Oscars being hosted by Chris Rock, I seriously have my doubts. I hope he can pull it off.

Happy Valentine's Day to all!

That's what I've had for the past few days. Saturday the 5th, we decided to enjoy the unusually warm weather we were experiencing and go to the park. Although thoroughly bundled up, I believe this is how the babe caught her contagion. We went home after about thirty minutes and the following day, after naptime, she had a 102.5 fever. Yikes! I kept her home Monday and watched the fever go up and down, in conjunction with the Children's Motrin I was giving her. As soon as that stuff wore off, she was back in 102 town again, poor thing. Tuesday, it was better and she seemed to be feeling more like herself. Yesterday, I went ahead and took her to daycare, even though she woke up with a 100.9 temp. I called the daycare at around noonish to find out how things were going. All was well and she was currently taking her nap. If anything happens, in terms of her fever, it will happen after nap," the director told me. I received no phone calls and picked up a happy, but very tired babe.

So, I've decided it's time to get serious about this....this weight thing. I've plateaued again and this time, I'm lingering closer to the 170 neighborhood, rather than the 150 like before. I am still eating a bit more and I'm attributing it to the fact that I have gone soup crazy, over the past few days. I don't know what it is about cold weather or beautiful, pristine snowy days that makes me want to gorge on chowdery soups like there's no tomorrow. It's been blissful, but damaging (I know). I've got to get a hold of myself, seriously! Hubby still thinks I don't eat enough. He's probably right, in one respect: I don't eat enough of the right foods. I definitely need more protein and less carbs in my diet. I'm no Atkins or south beach buff. I believe everything in balance, which means you should have a decent amount of carbs; however, I tend to go way overboard in that department. Secondly, I've also noted that I need a good multivitamin, too. I don't get nearly enough of the "good stuff" and hubby has agreed to help me pick out a good one.

Finally, I've got to shake things up with my workouts again. I saw majorly wonderful results when I was doing TheFirm (not the newest, infomercial crazy ones, but the classics). I pay attention because I know the 80's run didn't realize that jarring your joints is not a good thing, so I compensate but I have to say, the earlier ones are the most fun to watch (especially if your an 80's hound like I am). I know that people think the Mansion-like set and over-caked make-up is way over the top, but I think it adds to the charm of the productions. The music is a bit wacky at times too. Who cares! Susan Harris rocks! My butt (and everything else for that matter) never looked better than when I was doing her tapes on a regular basis. (I wish they would convert the old ones to DVD too.) The only thing I hate is that I know my weight loss will stop again, as my body adds muscle. Ugh! The scale will not be my friend for a while.

My plan is to get a fresh start this weekend. I'll begin with Susan's original workout and go half-amped as the informational portion of the tape suggests. There will be two to three days of soreness and I don't want to compound the agony by trying to be Wonder Woman. Then, I will slowly work in the tape a couple of times a week, while continuing my cardio training (I haven't decided how may days a week I will do that. I'll probably stagger it a bit, and give my body time to recover).

Well, I'll keep as current a post as I can while I "shake it up" over here. I do have a mini-goal in mind: to be able to pick out an Easter dress in at least one size smaller than I am now. That gives me a little more than a month. I believe that is totally reasonable.

P.S. Oh, and just to prove that I'm really not a complete moron, the link above does give an option for The Firm, DVD purchase. :-)

It's a new month and I'm feeling great! I worked out yesterday morning and this morning. The plan was to pull double-duty everyday this week, to make up for last week's birthday excitement (that means morning and mid-day workouts); however, I haven't made good on that goal. Yesterday, even though I brought my healthy and nutritious lunch, I opted to take my husband out to lunch at the Firehouse. It was yummy and I ate well to boot! A blackened chicken sandwich with homestyle fries. Okay, maybe I should have had the side-salad instead of the fries, but I figured a small order wouldn't kill me. I left my workout bag here to use for today's lunch instead.

I've been browsing some other blogs this morning and found a couple of interesting ones. I won't list them because I haven't "connected" yet to them. You know, found that something within the writing that reaches your own soul? Once I have that, I'll be sure to share the links. It's also occurred to me that I haven't updated the movies page in a long while. I'll try and tackle that today or tomorrow (lots of meetings coming up so, we'll see how that goes).

I'll be sending my girlfriend my measurements for my bride's maid dress the middle of this month. I think I'll go a couple inches less of what my actual measurements are, considering I plan on being a more svelte me by then (July). I figure, I'd rather go a couple inches less than end up looking like a chocolate bar trapped in a blue tent at her wedding. Yikes! She says she wants us to look sexy and I'm sure sexy doesn't include, "with a side of frumpy."

Hubby and I are still dealing with the issues. Will we move? Will we stay? Will my job allow me to work from home after all? Will I have to take a part-time job? Will I lose my house forever, along with my beautiful dog and cats? Is an apartment in the future for the current homeowners? Oh, boy. I girl could go mad from all the drama! I'm hanging tough and trying to stay strong through it all. I'm also praying a lot. Whether you meditate, pray or chant, please send some of those positive vibes my way. This sister is in definite need.