I really haven't looked as hard as I was looking before, but I will. The weekend is nearly here! I felt guilty about overindulging on some honey-roasted cashews I had, once I came home from work. Hubby was eating them like candy, so why couldn't I? You can't because you don't burn 2000 calories a day like he does. Oh yeah!

Well, the guilt was enough to send me downstairs to the elliptical trainer. It was my off day, but I wanted that extra 440 calories gone to compensate for the splurge. It didn't help. This morning I got up and stepped on the scale? Unfortunately the 175 told me that the water is hanging on. Why must you hang on, water? Get thee hence, retched fluid retention!

Well, I won't let it bother me. I'll keep pressing forward as I've been doing. It may be more than TOM, too. I made spaghetti for dinner on Tuesday night with mushrooms, ground turkey and Prego mushroom garden sauce (salt, salt, salt). Then yesterday afternoon, I went to lunch with girlfriends. Where did they want to go? Italian Village. What did I order? Spaghetti with marinara sauce (more salt). Last night, there were the pot stickers and rice. This morning, breakfast ham, scrambled eggs, whole wheat toast with jam. For lunch, szechuan noodles. Perhaps I'll have some food with my salt tonight. Oh, and the water drinking is not where it was. Gotta work on that. Perhaps if I did, the salt would leave. Capital idea, my good woman. Capital!

I can't find my Tape 4 of the Classic Firm series. Actually, I do have it on DVD now, but I can't find that sucker anywhere! It was something I wanted to add to my rotation this week and it appears to have vanished into thin air. Now, of course I know (logically) that it hasn't, but I can't put my hands on it to save my life. I'd like to use it to get my arms into better shape (as well as the rest of me) but more importantly, my wings. Yes. I have wings.

They haven't started flapping in the wind yet, but they're getting close. I've begun to notice the weight change now and, "Last hired, first fired," the evidence is in my wings. It's the last place I put on weight, so it's the first place (aside from my face) where I see changes. Since I'm not toning very much in that area yet, the result? Wings. Imagine your biceps as tires and the air is slowing being let out. Not pretty.

If I had that tape, I could get in the quality reps. Yes, I could do this without the tape, but the tape is regimented. I'm more likely to follow the instructions laid out in front of me, then to "wing" it and do things on my own. The good news is that I did get my elliptical workout in this morning and used the arm "thingies", which I normally don't (my stamina hasn't built up enough to use them continuously yet). I'm sitting at 174.5 and hope that the decrease continues as nicely as it has been these past few weeks. We'll see.

I went back through my blog posts, which is always an enlightening experience. It's funny to see me getting up in arms about being in the 160s and plateauing there. Man, those were the days. I'm hanging in the mid 170s and the high 160s sounds absolutely dreamy to me.

I'm working out regularly now (I even got in an elliptical training session yesterday). Sunday is my day off, but I'm actually missing the workout/toning sessions. I hope it's all working. I think I'm starting to see and feel a difference in my body. They're aren't mind altering changes yet but, it's better. If I can just make it through the holidays, I'll consider it a huge accomplishment. Haven't weighed this morning yet but, I was 175 yesterday. Oh to be petite again!

Gotta go get ready for church, now. I moved a lot of my winter clothes up last weekend and took my summer and spring duds downstairs. The closet is blocked so, I wasn't able to bring up all my winter dresses. I hope I can find something this morning that's appropriate for 40 degree temps. It's crazy how fast the temperatures changed but I'm certainly not complaining. I'll save my complaining for January and February when I've had above and beyond my share of the inversion and cold temps.

It was a refreshing, albeit difficult change from the treadmill (I talk as if I've been doing the treadmill thing for months instead of just twice). The refreshing part was seeing me click over 200 calories after only 15 minutes. I mean I literally burned twice as many calories in half the time. Imagine when I can stay on for 45 minutes or even an hour again! I was sort of calculating while I was standing on the scale this morning; if I could somehow get in two, elliptical sessions of thirty minutes per day, I would burn around 800 extra calories. The weight would just fall off! Now, I understand why I got so fit so fast the last time. I would do a morning workout (if I could get one in), then 30 minutes on the elliptical at lunch, then (if I was motivated and had time) a half hour or so on the treadmill in the evening. And, if hubby pissed me off in the wee hours, I would burn of my stress at 12:00 or 1:00 in the morning on the treadmill again. Now, we have this elliptical we didn't have back then...I would so be a skinny-Minny!

I couldn't possibly do this now, with the way everything is set up. Well, I guess I could...but do I really want to? Indy is still so young and is so needy and clingy sometimes. Besides, I like that she needs me right now. Later on, she won't want to have anything to do with me. Better enjoy it now. The set up would be to bring both girls downstairs and have them watch Elmo (or whatever) in the spare bedroom next door. I just have this feeling that if Indy knows I'm next door and wants me, she'll cry at the door for me and I couldn't just leave her out there to cry. Big sis can only do so much to keep her happy. However, if she's content to watch Elmo (or whatever) in the bedroom for at least 30 minutes without problem, there's my workout! Maybe I'll give it a shot and see what happens. Worse case scenario is she pulls me off before I've had enough time and I miss an extra workout for the day. Not a big loss I'd say since I already got one in this morning.

From my other blog and its post of the same title, you will learn of my exploits with 10-month pancake batter; however, I will not go into all the gory details on this blog. Instead, I will share my great initiatives in the workout world. Last week, I completed Buns, Hips and Thighs a total of two times and worked in a treadmill walk for 30 minutes. Awesome! Did sickness get me down? Hell, nah! I was back at it this morning (tummy pangs and all) on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I've been inspired and I'm not sure where it came from...but I'm certainly not complaining.

It was quicker to walk today, since I realized that I could play my Golden Girls DVDs on the computer and watch them there while I walked. Actually, I discovered it on my last walk as I listened to my aerobics music and looked up to realize the computer was there. Light bulb! "I can play my DVDs in the computer." I know...I'm so ready for rocket science.

Today's weight of 176 most likely is a result of all the water I lost this weekend from the illness but I'm hoping the exercise helped, too. Gotta look good in my catsuit at the end of the month, right? Can't look like Ms. Piggy in a catsuit...or can I?

I was doing so well before my trip to the south then...crash! Backyard Burgers, Captain D's, O'Charley's, Logan's, Fat Mo's, McDonald's, you name it. Four pounds later...seriously, I thought it would be much worse than this, but four is still bad. Luckily, one has already disappeared and I hope to never hear from him again.

Yesterday, I started working out again with a fierceness! First thing in the morning, I popped in one of my tried and trues; The Firm Parts: Sculpted Buns, Hips and Thighs with instructor, Tracy Long. She kicked my butt (well actually, she kicked my stomach and more specifically my abs). Ugh! I was feeling it a bit last night, but I'm in agony today. I must be a bit masochistic because I'm actually enjoying it. Well, not the pain so much but the fact that I did something good for my body. Something it hasn't had to do in a while and my body is letting me know, which is definitely a step forward.

So today, I'm going to attempt more working out...not sure what, not sure when but I'm going to try. That's all I can do is give it my best effort with each day. My costume came and it's definitely not meant for a tub-O so, I've got to get cracking on tightening up. I'm wearing it no matter what. The question is, will I be comfortable in it or royally embarrassed?

I'm going to loose my mind if the number doesn't change soon. Granted, I'm not working out like I should but, I'm not eating everything in sight either. In fact, I'm staying around 1300 or so calories a day. I don't think I'm in starvation mode, but maybe that's what's happening. I've got to up the anti on my workouts. They are few and far between. Looks like I answered my own questions.

What's the number you ask? 176. It hasn't really changed in days...days, I tell you! A 175 or even 174 would make me happy right about now. Truth be told, I'm just over the 170s altogether. So, 160s, where are you?

Today, for example, I had a protein packed breakfast: scrambled eggs (no grease), 2 strips of thinly sliced bacon and 1 slice of whole wheat toast (no butter) strawberry preserves. Usually, I eat a bowl of raisin bran and another after work that definitely keeps things moving along), but I didn't have time after getting the kids ready and off to school.

For lunch, it was a day out with my coworkers and we ate at a Thai restaurant. I tried something new, the Pra Ram (which was divine!); steamed veggies, tofu and peanut sauce with a few peanut chunks sprinkled on top. It came with a small serving of white rice and a small side salad. For dinner, I'm not sure what I'll have but this is where I start thinking; Damn, I wish I'd gotten a workout in this morning. Then, I wouldn't feel so guilty about the dinner; however, dinner is usually a lite fare. My intentions are good, but there's no follow-through. I've thought about how nice the weather has been and how a walk at the park would certainly help things along. I could do that tonight. I really could! Last night was Gymnastics night and tomorrow night is dance night. Thursday, Friday and Saturday would also work. What is my problem?

Okay. My plan: To walk to the park and walk the track with the Babe and Indy. I don't have to go at a full trot, but a good pace would be great. Two or three times would definitely get the heart rate going and the blood pumping. Following through? Well, we'll see.

So, I took a few shots of my fabulous shoes, which arrived today. Forgive the trouser socks and the night gown...even still, I think they're hot!

I found a someone who has my shoes. Woohoo! Now, being that it is an auction site, let's hope I get them. I'm not waiting around like I did last time, only to find that the beautiful pair of shoes I want has disappeared, never to be seen again. Okay, I did find them...just on the designer's site for more than I'd like to pay.

So, here I am at 176 nearly back to where I was before the "lummox" arrived at my house (that's almost 20 pounds lost since the new year, for those keeping up). At least I didn't creep back into the 190's (heaven forbid). If I can at least broach the 160's before my trip, I can get/wear my fabulous shoes. Even though the weight is coming off, I'm not happy with my body shape and need to get back into the workouts. I know that walking, running, jumping, skipping, skating, swimming, anything is going to make this body right as rain again. I did a Leslie Sansone walk last week, but nothing has happened yet this week. I'm hopeful. The basement move is looking more promising with each day (I assembled the new office desk and put the desktop computer back together over the weekend). That in itself was a bit of a workout. My butt was so sore the next day!

If my babe's behavior keeps up, I may take her (and myself) skating later this week. I would much rather go and be free to skate. The issue is Indy; I usually have to push her in the stroller as I travel around the rink which makes my skill development of the sport nearly impossible and my back feel like I'm preggers all over again. Hubby doesn't skate and doesn't want to spend the hour or two traveling around the games area with the babe (I don't blame him). I don't dare have big sis push her around the rink. She really doesn't have the strength. Oh, well. I guess I'm stuck, but at least the babe will enjoy herself.

We had the Babe's birthday party and a host of other birthday exploits last weekend. Of course, we ate ourselves into oblivion, but I didn't do as much damage as I thought. Now, TOM is on the way and I'm feeling uber bloated. Oh, well. I'm still on the path and I'm slowly working in activity (walks with the kids, mostly). I hope to be back in full aerobic swing, soon. The basement is almost done. Then, we can take our poor treadmill and eliptical trainer out of dust and mothbolls. They really need a workout themselves.

Phew! I must really be determined. I'm down to a lovely 179 today. Can you believe it? The workouts haven't even kicked into full effect yet. This is strictly me taking control of my portions again. I must have been eating like a damn pig! Well, I've experienced a few hunger pangs, but not many (in fact, I'm thinking it's almost time for my light popcorn). Hubby wanted to go to the park for a stroll, but we ended up hanging out at the house watching his burned copy of 300 until it started freaking out on us and completely stopped playing. Nice.

In other news, here are my goal shoes again. They are located on the designer's site for many dollars more than I want to pay but, oh! They are truly what I want. I also purchased a cute little baby doll top for my trip South next month. It's one of those that could double as a dress, but we'll see how it looks when I try it on (probably in the next couple of weeks).

Fast forward two hours...

Eating my popcorn now...I've got the jitters. Could be the Lipton Instant White Tea I've been inhaling for the past little while. Caffeine and I are just not friends.

It's a new day and I'm trying to get back on track. The lummox is out of my house, the basement is almost done and I'll soon have the treadmill and elliptical trainer at my disposal again. I'm looking forward to it...sort of. Let's say that I'm looking forward to getting back into shape and fitting into my clothes properly again. I'm only up about five pounds and I can tell. When I look at my face in the mirror, or when I try to put on some form fitting items? My ass is spreading again and I don't like it. Today, I plan to do a little something (start off slow) and take it from there. I'm currently sitting at 181 and after the summer I've had, I'm surprised it's not more than that.

Goals are still in place, I think. Unfortunately, the shoes I want are no longer available on the discount site and I'm not sure I'm willing to pay over $40.00 for them (when the time comes).

That pesky 7 pounds I picked up while on those god-forsaken 'roids is nearly gone. Now, if I could just motivate myself to work out regularly again. Not to say that I'm not getting in exercise (lots of walking dogs to the park and walking kids to the park and around the track) but aerobics is nearly non-existent. I decided to try and "wake things up" by walking down and walking back up all 8 flights of stairs in our building. Well, it's more like 16 because there's a set on each side before you reach the actual floor. My legs will be screaming tomorrow. Really...it doesn't feel like I did anything right now, but I always feel like I've been doing super squats the day after walking our stairs (which is why I don't do this often). My legs need not be any bigger than they already are. I build muscle mass quickly.

I'll be back on the wonder woman/New Dawn site soon to post. RN_Buffoon has bestowed me with an award and, of course, I've got to get to the podium and give my speech. Soon...

Will it be the new outfit or the fetching piece of jewelry? I'll be checking around to see later this morning. Today's number? Oh, 174 and that means 20 pounds gone since January. Woohoo! My mom informed me that she's now in the 150s (she's on this trek, too). She's got five more inches on her height than me, so she's really looking slim. I believe that's 20 pounds for her as well. She's dug out all of her tens and says she's nearly in her eights (Eights? that'll be the day). ;) I'm currently in a very comfortable, loose 12 but I have yet to try on any of my tens. My mediums fit pretty well and my arms don't look as if they'll burst through like a Hulk episode.

I'm motivated and eager to see where I go. My downfall always seems to be holiday meals and fall warm-up foods. I get to around 160 and sabotage myself during these times. If I can just control it, who knows where I'll end up. Here's to hoping.

I'm sporting 176.5 pounds todays, ladies and gentleman. Granted, some of that weight loss was the result of my contracting a contagious disease that rendered me unable to eat for two days, but whatever, the number is kind. I'm hoping that in the next few weeks, I can be placing my order for those fabulous shoes. I'm too excited! Okay, calm down. Don't want to have set-backs...gotta stay focused. I haven't checked to see if I made any further goals because I'm looking at a future prize. I'll do that later this morning and report back.

(I checked. Close, but no dice. Two more pounds till I've achieved 20 pounds off. Haven't even worked out this week, yet. Ugh! Better get on it.) 04/19/07 5:45am

The number today sat at 180.5, which I suppose is realistic, now that I'm feeling better and eating a regular diet again. Oh, but those 170's sure felt good. I'm sure I'm only a day or two away from really being there. It still sort of bums me out that I have to document it.

Today is a workout day, but I haven't been sleeping very well, so I hope to get in a workout this afternoon. Traffic was monstrous, yesterday. In fact, it took me thirty minutes just to get 10 miles out of the city. That's insane! I ended up going to my mother's as sort of a pit stop. I couldn't bare to sit in traffic anymore.

I didn't mention that I went to my water aerobics class last Friday. Our teacher said, "Good to have you back." Hmm. I wonder if she meant it? We had pool noodles that were shaped like "U's" and we had to stand on them, at one point (in the deep end). For those who don't know how water aerobics works, you were a huge belt around your midriff that acts as a floatation device. That way, you can use the resistance in the deep end without drowning. I gotta tell yeah...sometimes I'd much rather be without that blasted belt. It's so cumbersome! It's always riding up under my chest, no matter how tight or loose I leave it.

So, back to the pool noodles. I was trying...desperately to stand on mine, but it kept popping up and I looked absolutely ridiculous. Everyone else seemed to have no problem. Then, we did something else with them for a bit. By the time we went back to standing on them, everyone was having issues. I'm glad I'm not the only one who suffered from lack of coordination with the noodles.

I felt great, at class end and look forward to the next one. It was nice leaving the building with the sun still shining. That's new for me.

The Water has left and the Fat is leaving behind it. Keep moving. Don't stop. Just keep marching because I don't want to see you again (well, Water I know, he can't help himself. He'll be back when TOM returns. But Fat, you're ass is outta here!). The magic number 178.5 means that I am no longer in the 180s and, hopefully, won't return. I am too thrilled! It also means I've hit another goal. With 16 pounds gone, I am now ready for my masseuse. I may wait, like hubby suggested, and do the nails and back rub while we're on vacation; however, as I think about it more, how fabulous would it be to have my nails done and prettied up before I leave and my back all worked out and wonderful to get the vacation started off right? I'll ponder a bit longer on it.

To celebrate that fabulousness that is me today, I am wearing a sun dress (in size medium, thank you very much). It's a red maxi (going down to nearly my ankles) with subtle black floral patterns all over, off-the-shoulder in a sweet chiffon. The shoes? Red mules that are showing off my painted red toes that are too hot! I've gotten lots of compliments on my outfit today and have been told, "You look too good for work." I should just leave, right? If only I had a date.

Well, I weighed today. I know it's not Wednesday; however, TOM is almost gone and I feel the water weight leaving. The number on the scale was kind 182.5 thank goodness. It's a small change, but a change nonetheless. I'm still achy and coughing. The doctor's appointment is this morning, shortly after I take the babe to school. I'll actually see the doctor and not the nurse practitioner, which I hope makes a difference.

I didn't eat much at all yesterday and I doubt I'll have much of an appetite today. We did go out for lunch and ate at Paradise Bakery (my friends are obsessed with that place. I personally think they charge to damn much for their sandwiches and soups but, whatever). I had their Paradise Pasta salad and their Turkey noodle soup. It was okay, but I think I would have preferred something a little more spicy. My other choices were tomato soup covered in sour cream or Turkey Broccoli. Neither sounded appealing to me.

We received a bit of rain last night which supposedly cleaned out the air. I'm glad. I hope it helps me with my healing process. Can I just say it again, I am so frustrated with being ill. I just want to feel like me. It seems that I'm asking for way to much.

It's frustrating as hell and there's really nothing I can do about it accept wait. I'm tempted to see what the number shows, once TOM disappears finally. I can feel the water trapped in my body...seriously. It's hanging around my hips, thighs, back and face. Then, as if all that weren't enough, I appear to be sick again...AGAIN! What is up with this winter? I haven't been this sick in years and it's been continuous. I think this is a cold, but who knows. Thank God I still have some of the decongestant prescribed when I had the sinus infection. I'll be taking that over the next few days for sure. The weather man said we had some of the dirtiest air quality in the country, yesterday. I'm sure that's not helping me and my kids get any better.

I still haven't rewarded myself for the last goal. There just hasn't been time. I really don't want to get my manicure/pedicure with the two kids in tow because 1, the baby shouldn't be around the smell of those chemicals and 2, the babe would be begging for one of her own. I may treat her to something like that later in the year, but not just yet. She still sucks her thumb and treats like nail polish and manicures should be saved for non-thumb suckers.

The good news out of all this is I'm looking better, so the muscle building must be happening. I'm supposed to go to lunch with a coworker today (we haven't decided where). I don't have much of an appetite and when I take that medicine, it may disappear completely. I should be able to order safely without fear of overdoing anything. I also have a lunch tomorrow for a coworker who is turning 31. I'm a little torn as to whether we should pay for his lunch or not. I usually start that ball rolling (taking the birthday person's check, then chipping in the first few dollars), but for my birthday lunch, I had to pay for my own. I was a little perturbed by this but, whatever. Perhaps that is what we're doing, now. I'll just follow everyone elses lead.

Sometimes, these are things you would rather not hear. Other times, it's exactly what you need to keep motivated. Personal comments in the form of a compliment. I love them!

A coworker of mine told me, "What are you doing? You're looking so great. You're getting into such good shape."

Oh, yeah! Exactly what I needed to hear. Even though I'm not quite to the halfway mark, it made me feel like my efforts were not in vain. I'll keep trucking along until more and more personal comments are shot my way and more of my clothes begin to fit again.

The weekend weather is supposed to be decent, so I may begin changing clothes out. I really need to. There are still maternity objects hanging next to shirts, dresses and pants that are very wintry and probably won't be worn again anytime soon. I'm sure I got them out last year when I thought I'd drop tons of weight, after the baby was born. It didn't happen. Hormones are a bitch, but thank God they don't stick around forever.

Last night, it was "Hooked on Aerobics" again, but this time, the babe didn't want to work out with me. She started to, then changed her mind. I guess that whole being sweaty thing was getting to her (poor kid, she just doesn't know what she's in for). :) I felt really good afterwards. I showered, got the girls their dinner, then I had mine. Lentil soup and bran cereal should have had me living in the bathroom, but I'm fine even now. I guess my body is adjusting to all the fiber I'm getting. I'm glad. No one likes to live in the potty.

Hubby said that I'm starting to sound differently when I sleep. My body is looking different, too. Woohoo! It's all about those personal comments.